Chapter 40: The Night that Covers the Waiting and Sleeps
I wish ti would stop like this.
I know
We lied down holding hands tightly and talked without realizing the passage of ti.
When I was talking, Viola held my hand tight, and when she was talking, I sotis squeezed it too, but we never let go.
Strength entered my hand holding her hand, for example, when Viola lived in Piccom and told that she wanted to return to the capital, and there were many days when she couldnt stand it.
Marty is really nice. Just like an angel.
It was ti to talk about Jacob and Annes son, Marty.
You have no idea how amazing he is, lissa. Im really surprised every ti I see him. Hes not even my child, but I have a feeling that I and that child are connected by fate. Have you ever felt this way, l?
.
No? Because there are no children around you. Of course, Ive never experienced anything like this before, but the only thing I can say is that Im amazed. Sotis Im touched just by Martys existence. There are tis when I cry just looking at him smile.
Viola sotis sniffled as if it was emotional just to think of the child, and I, holding her hand, was also moved a little.
I dont have a hobby of pouring cold water on a beautiful story, but I thought I had to say sothing. Especially since she was my one and only best friend Viola.
Are you sure hes Jacobs child, Viola? I heard that the child looked completely like that woman nad Anne.
Marty
Every ti I see him, I see my husbands ex-lover Isnt it terrible to think of a shaless woman who disappeared after leaving the child who may be soone elses child?
.
Viola. I dont like that youre just accepting this situation or ignoring it..
Did I push her too hard? Viola was silent for a mont. She didnt let go of my hand, but tossed and turned her body a little and lied down straight.
lissa.
As I, too, turned and faced the ceiling, I heard Violas voice over the rustling of the blankets.
Im not giving up and accepting it helplessly. The feeling of blaming Jacob has long since disappeared. Im serious.
But that kid.
Even if Marty isnt Jacobs son, I dont think I could have loved Jacob this much if he was a man who turned a blind eye to a child who was sent to him without other options to rely on.
The words sohow made my heart ache. It was upsetting not to complain once that she was in a situation where she had to take care of a strange child as soon as she got married at the age of only twenty and was only saying beautiful things rather than getting angry.
Im rather grateful to him that he had decided to take care of Marty.
But at her next words, I was speechless.
You dont even know how difficult it must be to live in a foreign country, unfamiliar to , who has lived in the capital all my life, right? Even though I love Jacob sincerely There are many tis when I suddenly feel like I have lost my whole life.
Viola
Whenever I feel that, Marty saves .
It was a complicated feeling. To be honest, I didnt understand it well. Im not saying Viola is wrong, its that I would never be like that.
But at the sa ti, there was a feeling of respect for Viola. In the anti, there have been countless tis when I envied Viola who was born with bright energy and confidence that I couldnt have no matter how hard I tried, but it was the first ti I felt this way.
I thought the reason she changed was because she got married, but thats not the only reason.
Compared to a few months ago, Viola has beco a wiser, deeper personso much so, it was enough to believe that she was a different person. Its not that she was a shallow person before, or that just because shes different doesnt an our relationship will change..
It was very difficult.
I cried for no reason. The nights of her troubles and sorrows she had to pass through until she could speak calmly like this seed to flow into through the hands she held. There must have been nothing that wasnt harsh after her marriage.
Nothing is fixed in life, Viola.
Yes.
So I dont think there is an answer. We may still be young to talk about this, but.
and Viola were hugging tightly and comforting each other.
No matter what situation youre in, make sure you make a choice that makes you happy. Dont worry about anything else. I believe that will be the closest to the answer.
Viola let out a small sniffle.
I love you so much, lissa.
, too. Viola.
We cared about each other just like when we were girls. There is nothing in the world that doesnt change, but my sincerity for Violas happiness didnt seem to change. It was a fairy tale-like night.
Viola, exhausted from coming a long way from Piccom and shedding tears, was now breathing evenly as if to listen to my story. I didnt want to turn this warm air into anxiety.
I talked about months of imrsion in writing, like a person born for novels, safely submitting it to the academy, and making a promise to my mother. Viola was both curious and resentful, while listening to my story seriously.
As the most enthusiastic supporter of my dreams, she protested about my mothers position on my writing. In addition, life as a married woman, living as a female writer in the kingdom, and going to the kingdom of Lunoa, there were many stories about the sa topic.
It was a natural step for the topic of conversation to shift to Tobias Miller.
Viola said confidently that my future would be happy after marrying him. She had never even t him, but she was already convinced when I told her about his consideration, kindness, and his appreciation of my dream.
Moreover, I also noted the fact that Toby was selected as Leopolds scholarship student and left for Lunoa.
If you get married anyway, you have to leave ho. It would be great for you if you could settle in Lunoa.
So, although Toby might be staying in the Principality for a few years, its a different story about whether or not this opportunity had given him a clear foundation to establish himself there.
It felt like we hadnt seen each other for a long ti. I cant believe I forgot that Viola is an ardent devotee of love. I answered in a dead voice.
He might change his mind. I dont know when hell co back to Sourne. What if Toby changes his mind.
l.
Viola, who squird in my arms, was as small as a young animal, but her voice was quite solemn.
Lets not miss the precious present by worrying about things that never happened. That is stupid.
Youre right. I dont know why Im so silly.
Im not saying youre silly.. You just think too much.
Strength suddenly entered Violas hand that grabbed my hand.
I like you who is imrsed in thoughts, but I want your happiness more than anything else.
.
I advised her to make a choice that would make her happy every mont, and she told not to get caught up in worrying too much. Because thats the way to be happy.
This was advice that was possible because we knew and valued each other well. As soon as I answered yes with an overwhelming heart, Viola began to let out a quiet breathing sound as if she was going to sleep at any mont. She seems to be at peace now.
This is why I couldnt talk about the stalker. How could I tell her that he ca to the house, when I was alone, or that he bought the house across the street?
It was partly because I couldnt rember how far we had been talking about the stalker, but most of all, I didnt want Viola to continue to dwell on my worries after returning to Piccom.
It ans that the stalker is losing interest in , he is less and less revealing his existence. I havent even seen him recently.
Really?
There is still no proper solution, but this is my problem. I cant put a burden on her in the na of a friend, who is struggling to adapt to a new life.
Viola let out a response that was close to a mumble with a slow yawn.
You did a great job, l. Now, everything Itll be okay.
I whispered low to the viola who fell asleep with the words. Yeah, I hope so, too.
I had no idea it would be all for naught.
* * *
It was a sunny day. After lunch, I suddenly thought I wanted to go out. Its been a very long ti.
As always, there were no special plans. I just wanted to walk as I wanted. When I reached the heart of the city while walking, I wanted to go straight to the bookstore and be buried in the sll of books. I wanted to read a new novel and forget the ti.
Although my pocket money has decreased recently, I have saved up a lot of money in my own way thanks to not having to spend for a while. So, if I was lucky enough to find a book I liked, I wanted to buy it and hold it in my arms and go to Antris.
I never said it out loud, but I actually missed everything about Antris. The orderly commotion there, the gentle piano playing, a cup of carefully brewed coffee, and the polite response of the server.
Do you want to put it in? Miss?
It was purely because of my picky taste that I was able to choose only one book, even after wandering around the old bookshelves of the bookstore for a long ti. Obviously, even if I had enough money to buy two or three books of poetry.
No, Ill just carry it with .
I smiled lightly and accepted the book that was given to .
When I left the bookstore, the sun was already setting. Being taken away by the brilliant sunset that seed to be like lted gold, I walked blankly, raising my head toward the sky.
I cant believe its already this late. If I stop by Antris, I wont be able to reach on ti for dinner, so what should I do?
Then, I bumped into soone without seeing that soone was approaching .
Ah..!
The novel, which was held in his arms, plunged over the cold stone road with a fluttering sound. The title, gilded over the dark brown leather cover, glistened in the vivid sunset light.
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I was so startled that I bowed my head. All I thought was to hurry and pick up the book, bow, and leave.
But a long hand wearing black gloves grabbed it before I could. My gaze slowly followed it, thinking that the slowly lifting hand was beautiful.
And soon I held my breath.
He smiled like a painting with his fluttering red hair.
Hello.
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