Im sorry, lissa.
What?
I blinked blankly at the unexpected words.
I made you wait so long without realizing my heart. Because I didnt recognize you right away.
.
It was a sudden story. I didnt want to hear him say sorry in this beautiful greenhouse. There are many other stories I would like you to tell.
I urgently kissed Alans hand. On cold hands that sll of roses and grass.
Why would you say that? We are lovers.
Ive been anxious ever since I sent you to the kingdom.
What was truly unsettling was how I felt when I heard those words. When did you smile so dazzlingly as if it could even lt the snow that had accumulated all winter, and why did you suddenly say sothing like this?
You ca back like this.
Alan continued as I mumbled with an awkward smile.
Then I thought. The ti I spent making you anxious because of my shortcomings must have been incomparably longer and deeper than this. There is no way to erase the mistakes that are already clearly engraved in your mory.
.
Then, do I really have the right to want you?
I beca helplessly anxious. Did I co too late, perhaps? Did I fade to him while we were away from the sea?
What are you talking about?
Even as I pursed my lips in despair, I couldnt stop the anxious thoughts. So what did the kiss just before an? Goodbye?
Feeling dizzy as if my heart had dropped to the ground, I prayed as if I was begging, hoping that my persuasion would work.
I cant forget that mory as sothing that never happened, butYou just have to cover those mories with new mories.
Of course I intend to.
Oh.
At that simple answer, my legs gave out and I almost collapsed. Alan held and continued speaking.
I will make up for it. Even if I spend all my ti and my life.
Make up?
His words were sweet at first glance, but for so reason, I felt as if a painful sensation was rising from the corner of my heart
Is that what youre talking about, throwing away your work to welco when you dont know when Ill return?
.
I heard youre not even going out of the house! Then the business.
As the confident voice began to tremble, Alans eyes narrowed. I continued quickly.
I am not as weak as you think. What Im saying is that I wouldnt have burst into tears the mont I got ho because you werent there. There was no need to destroy sothing precious to you for such a trivial reason.
lissa.
Alan called in a low voice, but I still had sothing to say.
If you did it out of guilt If thats the case, Id be distressed too.
Suddenly, the corners of my eyes felt hot and tears welled up in my eyes. I said with my own mouth that I am not weak, but because my love is so great, I always beco weak in front of him.
Then Alans hand gently pressed my cheek.
It cant be because of guilt.
Then
Its because I love you.
It was an answer that made doubt my ears, but I wasnt wrong. In the end, the tears I had been holding back ca pouring out.
Why.
Why do I love you?
He was saying sothing he had never heard before, so calmly. I grabbed the shirt covering his chest with trembling hands.
Why are you telling now?
I was so nervous because of you who hugs affectionately but never tell you love ...
Because Im scared.
Alan, who said that, laughed self-deprecatingly. Alan, who was arrogantly upright, was trembling silently. Like one afternoon when I said I was going to the kingdom.
Im not sure if I deserve to love you. I thought there was nothing I could do if you didnt co back. It was scary.
Are you stupid?
I shot back furiously, caressing his cheek as if dealing with the most precious thing in the world.
I was hoping and hoping that you would tell you loved , but what kind of qualifications do you have?
Ive been called stupid twice since I was born, and both are by you.
Alans eyes, responding calmly, suddenly deepened. I know when he has these eyes.
But it really may be so. Your angry face is so.
I felt my cheeks blushing naturally. Im sure it would be ridiculously red.
Just as he was hoping to say sothing quickly, Alan, with a low voice said,
I rather wanted you to be more angry, or rather to punish . If only that would clear the shadow that lay upon you, and we could return to the ordinary people without any misunderstanding or wandering.
.
But you have never been an ordinary person to .
But lissa, you only gave love. I thought it would be okay to break down in your arms.
I was sohow embarrassed by those explicit words that I only gave him love. He couldnt have known about my passionate heart.
Nevertheless, I mustered up the courage to make eye contact with him. I will say what I have to say by directly looking into his eyes.
My arms wont break you. Even if the world turns upside down, that wont happen. Because I just love you..
.
I just hope you dont break down because of .
After finishing my rambling and awkward confession, I closed my eyes tightly and, contrary to my expectations, a muffled voice ca into my ears.
But I have brought you down before, lissa.
Alan.
I answered those words by touching his chest. I hope this one answer is enough.
Having an unknown man secretly scare is never a pleasant experience, but it doesnt break .
Your novel, I burned it. How precious it was to you.
Oh, my.
At the sa ti, I felt frustrated and undeniable joy. It felt like I was being held in the arms of a boy who was suffering from his first love, and the old Sir Alan had gone.
Where should I start explaining this?
After taking a short breath, I decided to speak as calmly as I could.
I wrote that because I loved you so much and wanted you so badly, but I couldnt even reach you. But now you have beco my lover. Then heres the question. Do I still need Troy in the novel?
.
Alan couldnt answer hastily and just looked at . He must have thought that good lissa was trying to comfort him by forcefully pretending to be okay.
And Im already starting to write a new one. Thats the story Ive wanted to write my whole life.
So I spoke with more firmness in my voice.
If it werent for you, this story wouldnt have even started. That will be my first novel. So please dont make a sad face. Never forget how many tis you saved . And.
Im listening.
I took another short breath. My gaze never strayed from his beautiful eyes.
Now tell your story, Alan. I told you I had sothing to tell you when you got back.
Then Alans elegant lips slowly opened. I was fascinated by that sight.
This greenhouse garden was planted for you. You said you dont like roses, but there is a flower that suits you as well as this color and shape.
I like, rose.
Of course, that doesnt an other flowers dont suit you.
He looked around at the pink heaven surrounding us and smiled at . He was, indeed, the most beautiful gardener in the world.
When spring cos, Im going to plant flowers in my garden. So that every day youll spend here feels like a bouquet of flowers. So, lissa.
When he stopped talking, I stopped breathing with him. We looked at each other without even blinking. Like people who couldnt see anything but each other.
Thats when he said.
Will you continue to live here? With .
.
As I was pondering his words, he added softly, perhaps because he thought I did not understand.
I want to wake up with you every day. Even if we fight sotis, I definitely want you to sleep in my arms at night. I want you to keep calling my na. The na Flynn, which is still unfamiliar to , will soon beco familiar if I share it with you.
Ah.
Actually, this is a favour. If you dont beco a beacon to this imperfect life, Ill sink in a ss. So.
As he took a deep breath, his chest heaved like a wave; and at last he said.
Will you grant the honor of becoming your husband, my lady?
.
The mont he kneeled reverently, his eyelashes were wet again. The magic of turning the quiet glass greenhouse into a national theater where a ball to commorate the victory occurred.
If this was part of the cover up he was talking about, then Alan was probably trying to cover up the mories of that day with new mories. But as I looked at his outstretched hand, my palm naturally began to sweat.
Can such great happiness co to soone like ? Isnt that too much greed? I felt distant as if I were standing in front of an endless ocean.
Alan, the ball will end soday. When the ball is overThen what should we do
Dont worry, the ball isnt over as long as were dancing.
Alan smiled brightly without withdrawing his outstretched hand.
Ill keep dancing so it never ends. Even until eternity.
Thats It must be very hard. My legs will hurt and.
Lets overco that pain and suffering together. We can overco it.
I burst into tears at that noble conviction and cried like a child.
Will you marry ? Huh?
Before I knew it, Alan ca again with a sweeter tone.
My right hand and left hand were empty as I was frantically wiping away my tears, and I couldnt speak anymore because I was choked up. So I had no choice but to nod my head with a lot of tears hanging on .
Then, smiling like the wind, he stood up and wrapped his arms around . So hard that it took my breath away.
Instead of twisting my body to get away or pushing him away, I hugged Alan even deeper.
I felt that the empty space in my heart, which I thought could not be filled with anything, was finally filled.
It was truly an amazing feeling. I feel like Im disqualified as a writer for being able to express it this way, but I now understood the reason why I felt it would have to be him.
(T/N: aning why she was so obsessed with him and was not able to move on)
We were amazingly tight pieces to each others gaps. A life that is completed only because of him and I, and only because of each other. This was the conviction I had hoped for so much while weaving through the ashes of anxiety.
Here, in his eyes.
Then Alan whispered, putting his lips on the back of my neck.
Winter is over, lissa.
And so again, it was the beginning of an eternal kiss. His lips, which were so tightly overlapped with mine, were careful, as if they were asking for forgiveness, as if they were sworn for love. As if they were kissing for the first ti.
In that ecstatic flood of love, lissa Flynn had this thought;
Tomorrow we will see the most brilliant and dazzling morning sun we have ever seen.
And that the next day we will face together will be the sa, and the day after that.
Like a miracle of discovering spring in the middle of winter.
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