Chapter 78: RICHARD
Relief washed over me as the doctor told us that Melissa will be alright.
I sat with her uncle and his family. Our principal, Sir James, was also sitting with us. Melissa didn’t have friends so those who had come to the hospital as mere acts of sympathy, they had left hours ago.
Her uncle had asked me to go with them, but I insisted on staying. Bree and Felix, his kids, had looked at me as if I was mental.
They kept staring at me and whispering to each other. I didn’t really blame them, I would also be confused if I saw the most popular boy in school hanging around the hospital because of a pariah he has never spoken to before.
My phone had kept ringing. My parents
were worried. It was around 6pm and I was yet to be back.
I didn’t believe in God or any of that religious shit people hope and believe in. But that day as we all sat waiting for the doctor, I prayed for Mel to be alright.
Guilt and my conscience didn’t make it easy for me. They taunted and blamed me. And they were right, it was my fault. If only I had put away my stupid image and reputation, Mel would never have tried to kill herself.
And the dream. A clear sign that she was in trouble, that she needed help, but foolish me had wanted to catch her alone. If only I had ignored what people thought and spoken to her as I arrived at school.
The doctor had applauded me for finding and bringing her at the nick of time. According to him, had any more time been wasted, she would have died.
Sir James gave me a pat as well, her uncle and his family told me that they were in my debt. He had said that while flashing hard glares to his kids, the ones who should have been watching Mel from the onset.
I was told she was sleeping and needed the rest, so I couldn’t see her until the next day. So I left.
That day I didn’t call my driver, I simply walked home. I needed the air and the time to process the fact that a girl would have been dead because I was too busy chasing after the approval of others.
I got home expecting questions, yelling and lectures, but to my surprise, my parents gave me a hug instead. Apparently Sir James had called them and Chad and Aaron had collaborated
the facts of what had happened.
They told me that they were proud of me and that should have made me happy, but it didn’t. I just wanted people to stop treating me like a hero, because I was anything but. She had almost died and it was all my fault.
At school the next day, the hero parade continued. I fake-smiled through it all, even at the emergency assembly where Sir James had acknowledged my ’heroic duty’. I was asked how I knew she was in trouble and when I simply told them it was instincts and the knowledge that someone who has experienced what she has should never be left alone. They had cheered even louder.
I counted the seconds, minutes and hours until it was time to go see her.
She lay on her back, her eyes fixed on the window at the right side of her ward. I almost thought she hadn’t heard me come in, until she said as I made to sit,
"Don’t bother sitting, I don’t want to talk to you or even see you for that matter, and don’t even bother asking why cause I won’t answer"
"Then you are going to pretend I’m not here because I’m not going anywhere" I said, sitting.
"Suit yourself" was all she said to me throughout the three hours I sat there.
The next day I came, she didn’t even say a word, she just lay there reading a book. Sometimes staring out the window.
On the third day, I came with the same book she had been reading the day before and she had been exasperated.
"What is it with you? Can’t you just leave me alone?" She had asked, after an hour of scintillating silence where we pretended to be engrossed by the book in front of us, whereas we were yet to flip a page.
"Isn’t it obvious? I want to be your friend and I can be unrelenting and persuasive especially when I really want something... or someone"
"And I can be very adamant once my mind is made up, especially when I don’t really want something... or someone" she returned.
I had smiled as I offered,
"I’ve been known to change minds before, all I need is time"
Without looking at me, she said,
"You are full of shit"
We sat in silence after that, stealing glances at each other while pretending to be reading.
I had thought it was progress until I came the next day and wasn’t granted entry, apparently she had told her uncle that seeing and being with me was triggering.
What I did that day still surprises me whenever I recall it. I had pretended to be leaving and then rushed as her uncle shifted from the door. Before he knew what was happening I had bolted the door from within.
"How dare you?!" Mel had yelled.
"You, how dare you? I saved your life, the least you could do is to show a little appreciation_"
"Hold up," she cut in, sitting up, "did you say appreciation? For what exactly, for taking away the one chance I had of being with them? Or for trapping me still in this pathetic existence?"
It hit me then, I may have saved her, but that was not what she had wanted. ’Help me’ she had said in that dream, but perhaps it was her subconsciousness, that part of her that still wanted to live, to thrive and to keep going.
She may not realize it, but she wasn’t meant to die, and I knew I had to save her again. This time, I planned on helping her realize that there’s still a lot to live for.
I wasn’t big on apologies, but for her, I would’ve gone down on both knees.
"I’m sorry" I said.
She was momentarily shocked by my apology, until she wasn’t,
"You are sorry, and what the fuck am I supposed to do with that. Tell me," her voice broke and she bit down on her pale lips to stop the tears that glazed her eyes, "what the hell am I supposed to do with that?"
The tears fell.
I rushed to her side and threw my arms around her, she didn’t succumb. She fought me, repeating the words, "what am I supposed to do with that?
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