1642: The Unexpected – Part 3 1642: The Unexpected – Part 3 “Ah… Is that what you thought it was?” Oliver said, his eyebrows down turned ever so slightly in sadness when he looked up at her.
The sight made Nila’s heart lt.
“No.
No, that wasn’t what I was saying…” Nila said.
“I… I just, I don’t know.
There’s so much to you that I don’t know.
There’s so much that I don’t understand.
We’re close, aren’t we?
We’re reallllly close, right?
But I don’t know what anything ans.
Are we a couple?
Are we not a couple?
What should I be doing?” “Now you’re stressing,” Oliver teased.
“Your little face is all scrunched up in worry.
I don’t suppose I mind that expression.
Though it does hurt to know that you worry for .” “How could I not worry for you?” Nila said.
“You’re just a ball of tension, and you hardly ever let in.
I told you to relax, but I’m not even sure that’s good advice, and it’s soooo dumb.
What a stupid thing to say to soone who’s in your position.
It’s so embarrassing.” “Obviously we’re a couple, Nila,” Oliver said.
“We can at least say that for a certainty, can’t we?” “But we’re strange around each other,” Nila said.
“I don’t feel like we’re normal at all… Don’t we want different things from each other than a normal man and woman want?
Don’t you feel like you keep a certain distance from ?” “…Perhaps,” Oliver said.
“But I do not try to… I thought you’d think that we might have beco closer after all this.
You’ve seen an embarrassing side to , after all.
Do you think less of from seeing it?” “What?” Nila pulled her face, seemingly hurt by the accusation.
“Are you stupid?
What sort of woman do you think I am?
Do you not know how much I care for you?
How much I worry about you?
Why would I think less of you, when you finally rely on , just the slightest bit?
That’s sooo cruel, Oliver.
You’re going to make cry.
That’s… That’s…” “Going to?” Oliver teased quietly, gently wiping away the tears that had started to run down her cheeks.
“You are the most adorable creature this land could ever offer.” “Why can’t you just say what you an, Oliver?” Nila said, pulling his arms around her in a hug, and pressing her face in his shoulder, so that he could not see her tears.
“It would be sooo much easier.” “I could accuse you of the sa,” Oliver said.
“But things are not so easy.
We don’t know what we an.
I didn’t know what I was, not truly.
I still do not.
I have vague ideas, and then I surprise myself, as I did with you, all those weeks ago… That was alarming to , and embarrassing.” “We’re even now, though,” Nila said.
“Now I’ve cried in front of you too again.” “You’d make a ga out of it?” “Shut up, dummy.
You know that isn’t my intention.
You’re just being an for an’s sake,” Nila said.
“Anyway, I suppose I’ve cried in front of you far too often for to be keeping score.” “I was defeated then,” Oliver said, “and you offered comfort.
A few tears for a defeat that I knew to be inevitable.
I feared losing you.
There was a loneliness in that.” “You tried to say goodbye to , as if it really were over,” Nila said.
“Do you know how alarming that was?
For you to give that present, of the ruby fox pendant, and then start speaking to , as if you were going to say goodbye?
I’ve never been so frightened in all my life.” “I apologise for burdening you with it,” Oliver said.
“I didn’t think I had that sort of weakness in .
But it was better for you to see it than the n, I suppose.
They still retained their fire, without the worry.
They still had a misplaced belief in , and we were able to go far because of it.” “I hate it when you talk like that.
Crying isn’t weakness, Oliver,” Nila said.
“If you can’t cry in front of , then who could you cry in front of?” Oliver smiled sadly, but gave no reply.
Nila remained quiet as well, and gently ran her fingers through his hair, as she pulled him even tighter into a hug.
Her grip was a frightening thing, at tis.
She hugged as if she ant to crush him.
Oliver found security in the strength of that touch.
“It seed I cried for more than just our defeat, and my losing of you,” Oliver offered eventually.
“I thought a few tears might be fine.
But after so many years without them, it seed that I had more to shed.” “You spoke of other things…” Nila said.
“I did,” Oliver agreed.
“You’ve suffered, Oliver,” Nila said.
“And all these years, you have clung to it, rigidly, and been tight and full of tension.
You haven’t looked after yourself.
You’ve always been running forward.” “Don’t say things like that, stupid.
You’ll make cry as well,” Oliver said.
“Like what?
Like that you need to look after yourself?” Nila said.
Those words were such a knife in Oliver’s heart, for with them, there was born an accusation that he knew to be true.
For so many years, he had rushed forward, unrelentingly.
If he analysed himself, he supposed it was if he had a degree of loathing for his own existence.
He treated himself as such, never allowing more than a few monts to relax, always doing sothing, always pushing… Until that pushing could no longer give him what he wanted.
Until there was an obstacle that he could not overco, and he felt despair.
He gritted his teeth, as he felt tears begin to roll down his cheeks again.
He pulled Nila in tightly, and buried his face in her jacket.
She winced, as his grip pulled her hair, pushing it against her back.
She gently freed it, without moving him, and then quietly continued to embrace him.
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