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*Sigh* as much as I loathe to admit it the beast has a point. I can't really rely on others. If I do so I will get complacent. And when I get complacent I will get weak.

And if there is sothing I hate most it's helplessness.

But I refuse to open that door for that. I do not know what's behind it. But what I do know is that I hate it.

I hate that feeling of not being in control of my own body. Devolving into nothing more than a cruel beast who only knows brutality.

I know that the mont I open that I will have lost.

The mont I open that door I will be just like the rest. Broken by lordran. Becoming a cruel and jaded unfeeling monster.

I only have my self left.

I don't want to lose that too...

Shaking my head in a vain attempt to get rid of the crushing lancholy I made a plan.

Ever since my stats rose I noticed my mories had beco clearer and I could think slightly faster. Probably due to raising intelligence. Alongside that, I had also beco slightly taller with more muscles. But anyway, scouring my mories I made a plan.

I needed to get stronger. The only way to not lose to this world is to be strong enough to triumph over it. If I get strong enough I won't have to rely on /it/.

The most beneficial place for right now was the Depths and subsequently Blighttown. Although I had been avoiding them both because, frankly, I don't want to wade through actual shit. But alas I needed to, so I will just bite the bullet and descend down to the literal cesspits of Lordran.

As I slowly made my way to the depths I practiced and tested my new abilities getting used to them. Like {form shift}, one of the new abilities I got after ''going sicko mode'' on the gargoyles. Upon first glance, it wasn't really much. But from what my ''other'' self looked like I could see its potential.

It allowed to temporarily shift my physical form slightly. Make my nails and teeth sharper. Edit my muscular structure. And a lot of other stuff. Minor body kinesis basically. Though it can't repair or create additional tissue.

Overall pretty useful. I can use it to mold my body into a shape more suited for combat when I need to. I can also stop bleeding. Though it is fairly tiring and taxing to use.

And the skill that evolved from pain tolerance was pretty damn ridiculous. It was an active skill unlike its predecessor though and it had multiple parts to it. The first part of it basically allowed to ignore most of my pain, which synergized really well with mad hollow combat. But it was the second part that was ridiculous.

It allows to ignore the effects of injuries on my combat potential.

For example, even if you didn't feel pain punching with a broken hand it wouldn't do much when compared to punching with a normal hand. But with {Dreadnought} that doesn't happen. Even if I punch with my hand shattered, the punch would still have the sa power behind it as a normal punch.

I can run with broken legs. Punch with shattered hands. It is basically the perfect skill for a berserker.

It is also a skill that makes it obnoxiously easy for to kill myself.

Because even if I can punch with full strength that doesn't an my hand isn't broken. And with numbed pain, I could basically kill myself without even realizing it. It wasn't like the skill protected my body. No.

I tested the skill by breaking my hand and activated the skill. Then punched a wall as hard as I could. I felt so invisible force pin the broken bones together and hold them in place. In addition to that, I didn't know how exactly but the wall was damaged by the punch like I was in peak condition.

Next, I took advantage of the pain ignorance part of the skill and brutalized my arm. Then tried punching the wall, but when I did so the skill tried to put my arm back together into a useful shape but it couldn't ignore the injury completely. Which resulted in only partial success, most likely due to a lack of skill proficiency. But even then it was still absurdly good.

Lastly on the chopping block was the skill I had before which was revealed. I am talking about the question mark skill. After my psychotic episode, the skill actually got uncensored. For so reason, I am unable to explain.

---------------------------------

< Blue Soul Tear lv.3> (Passive)

The powers of the blue tearstone dwell within the depths of your soul. The more your life is depleted the more power you draw from it, forming a protective aura around yourself.

---------------------------------

So yeah, It turns out it is literally straight up a better version of the blue tearstone ring as a skill. And it can even be improved as well!

And now I actually have an idea of how I acquired this skill but I don't have enough evidence to support that line of thought.

I want the tears I shed when I lost my ring back, please.

Who am I kidding? If Lordran was that kind I would be far saner of mind.

After testing my new skill and jazz on the poor hollows of lordran I had reached the heavy tal door that lead to the depths. Standing in front of it I reluctantly inserted the key and twisted, then entered.

*Cough* *Cough* ''Fuck!''

And was imdiately hit by a wave of nauseous sll of actual decomposing sh*t and corpses. The sll was so vile I don't think I can actually interpret how it slt like. If my nose had sentience it would commit suicide right this second.

< the trait {Elentary Poison Resistance lv.1} has leveled up >

< {Elentary Poison Resistance lv.1} -> {Elentary Poison Resistance lv.2} >

I don't I can actually continue here. I would rather die for real than be tornted by this sll.

You know what?

Fuck it.

I transford my fingernails to be sharper and dug out my nose from my face and put it away in my inventory. Then cast heal to stop the bleeding, but since heal can't restore limbs I still lacked a nose.

Definitely better. Now I can actually explore the depths without going hollow. As for the lack of nose, I will just reattach it later or commit die to restore it.

After that ordeal, I put my visor back down and continued down the stairs.

So torch-wielding hollows tried to ambush but they soon realized that burning sticks do not accomplish very much against plate armor. I made sure to teach that lesson to them very well.

I didn't even need to use deadman's blow to cut them in half. My sword literally went through them like hot butter through tal. Having dispatched the 3 in less than half a minute I continued. Coming across a wooden area with tables and chairs along with a dozen hollows and a few oversized rats.

It was insultingly easy to cut them apart. Every swing of my blade took out at least 2 enemies. And they couldn't even get through my armor properly, and that is if they get past my insane instincts and reflexes first. One of them tried to jump from behind, to which I unconsciously responded by spinning on my heel and hitting them with a full power backhand.

And decapitating him. Yeah, I didn't really have full control over my new burst of strength yet.

Yeah after that needless to say common mobs do not pose much of a challenge for at this point. I am simply too strong and too well-equipped for them. After having dismissed the residents I made my way down to the ''Kitchen''.

I, refuse, to, think, about, what, that, at, is.

When the bulbous and muscular humanoid wearing a sack over its head wielding a large cleaver noticed while doing its ''Business'' it imdiately charged at . It swung at my head but I simply ducked and punched its gut with my free left hand.

Just as it keeled over from the force behind my jab I gave a spinning high kick toward where I assud its temple, discombobulating it and throwing it to the ground. Not allowing it a sing mont I stabbed my sword into its neck. Killing the butcher.

Having taken care of that butcher that was surprisingly easy to dispatch I also went down to the water-logged portion to do so pest control. After that, I rembered the chest behind the butcher so I went up and snatched that ember.

To be honest, I have zero ideas on how to actually utilize embers. I should probably pay a visit to Andre to learn.

Now that I had looted that chest I down to the flooded portion and climbed up the pile of rubble to enter the hole in the wall which lead to a corridor-like section. In which another butcher was waiting for . It sprinted at and slamd its cleaver down which I sidestepped. I gave a strong kick to its relatively weaker knee, breaking it, and as it fell down I summoned the black knight greatsword and split them in half.

*Cleave!*

Even though I consider myself a hoarder even I won't loot the body of the butchers. Even if the possibility is nonexistent I don't want my inventory getting infected. Continuing on I ca across a doorway which I entered, it was full of barrels of... sothing.

But all this ant is that I had arrived at my goal. Laurentius of the great swamp. My key to pyromancy.

''You! Yes, you! Over here, please... help !''

I moved toward the sound while pushing barrels aside, and I ca across a man... stuck in a damn barrel of all things. I knew this from the ga but that didn't make it any less codic.

'' Oh, there you are You must help Or else ... She'll have for lunch! You're my only hope Oh, please''

I simply grabbed the sides of the barrel he called ho and tore it apart. Freeing the man, who seed ecstatic to be able to stretch his legs and arms after being stuck in a barrel for Gwyn knows how long.

'' Th-thank you. I would have been her supper without you. Being eaten alive! I shudder to think Thank you, thank you dearly. I am Laurentius, of the Great Swamp. I will not forget my debt to you.''

*Nod*

''Wel then, I will be off to the Firelink Shrine if you need .''

Oh, trust I will Laurentius.

I need those pyromancies after all.

After that, he began making his way up the depths, I obviously didn't follow him as that would be creepy. I just went around the depths clearing the place of enemies and loot for a while so that I could howard and talk to him without it being awkward.

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