Autumn stared blankly at the fire crackling in the corner. She hadn’t spoken in minutes. Mango had draped a blanket over her shoulders.
"Rest," Mango urged softly.
But Autumn’s voice ca clear now, too clear.
"No. I am not going to rest. I am going to see her."
"Autumn..."
"I need to look her in the eyes. I need to know if it is really her..."
Everything was noise and silence all at once.
The cheers, the whispers, the gasps...all muffled, like she was trapped underwater.
Autumn did not rember her knees buckling. Did not rember Mango catching her. All she could feel was the shattering ache in her chest, as if soone had reached in and cracked her ribs open just to see if her heart would still beat through the pain.
"Easy now," Mango whispered, her voice a low hum.
Autumn couldn’t speak again.
Couldn’t scream anymore.
Her voice seed to have developed an auto on and off mode.
"I should be happy, right? I should be grateful. My sister is alive. That is supposed to be a miracle, isn’t it?" She laughed...a bitter, ragged sound.
She turned towards the hearth and without warning, reached in...fingers closing around a burning piece of firewood.
"Autumn, NO!"
Mango lunged, grabbing her arm, but it was too late. Autumn yanked the searing log from the flas, the skin of her palm blistering instantly, but she did not let go.
She held it like a torch, like a weapon. Shaking. Teeth clenched. Tears streaming down her cheeks.
"I gave up everything to live in a world without her...I gave up my childhood because I believed I did not deserve it...I punished myself because I failed her," she whispered, voice splintering. "And now she cos back? Just like that?"
Mango looked at her with a heavy sigh. She opened and closed her lips but could say...nothing.
"I searched for her body. I lit the candles. I buried her mory. I..." Her voice cracked like thunder, splintering under the weight of grief. "I broke myself to survive her!I believed when they said I was responsible for her death...I acknowledged the bla...I agreed..."
The log dropped to the floor with a thud. She collapsed to her knees, letting out another choked sob, rocking forward and back.
"Autumn, stop...look at . You are hurting, I know...you are burning inside...but Autumn," Mango rasped near her ear, gripping her wrists gently, trying to pull her closer. Her voice was trembling now too.
But Autumn jerked away, shrieking again, fingers curled in agony...rage flashing and fading like lightning.
"...he didn’t tell . He kissed . He held . He let make a ho in him...and it was all a fucking lie!He is such a scheming bastard! I will give him that...he hurt where it hurts most...made sure I broke...And never get back up...asshole...."
Mango wrapped her arms around Autumn from behind, holding her as tight as she could, as if her touch could hold her broken pieces together.Autumn was shaking! Not trembling... she was shaking like an Earthquake.
"I hate him," Autumn whimpered,trying to breathe through the sobs. "I hate him for letting fall in love!"
Her voice dropped to a whisper, splintered."I can’t do this!" Autumn let out a whimper, almost childlike. Her entire body shook,vibrated as Mango held her in her arms.
They sat like that...fire crackling low, night stretching its long arms around them.
Autumn’s breath slowed a little, but her eyes stayed open, fixed on the flas.
"She is my sister," she murmured. "And I don’t even know if I can look her in the face without falling apart."
"You can," Mango whispered. "Because you are stronger than you think. It might take so ti though! "
Autumn went still.
Too still.
Then, sothing snapped. A dry crack in the silence. Her jaw clenched, her eyes suddenly glassy and faraway, like the light inside her had turned to shards.
"I am not strong," she said, barely breathing the words. "You think I am strong, Mango? I am not. I was just... stitched together. I am nothing but ashes soone tried to sew into skin."
Mango reached for her hand gently, but Autumn flinched, moving back away. "Don’t...don’t touch . I will fall apart if you do. I will. I can feel it.Nobody should co near .No one."
Her voice pitched higher. Hysterical.
"She died. I watched my world burn. I built a new one with much difficulty and now you are telling she is walking around like nothing ever happened?How am I supposed to take that? How? "
She suddenly lunged toward the mantle, knocking over the tal candle holder with a clang. It crashed against the stone floor, scattering wax and shards of glass.
"I buried myself along with her!" Autumn scread, grabbing the edge of the heavy table and flipping it over in one explosive motion. Books and cups clattered to the ground.
"Autumn, stop..." Mango stepped forward carefully, hands raised.
But Autumn was beyond hearing now. Her breath ca in ragged gasps again. She stumbled backward, knocking over a chair as she gripped her burned hand, pressing her nails into the blisters until blood welled beneath them.
"I don’t want to feel this," she whispered. "I don’t want to feel like this again!"
She let out a guttural scream and slamd her fist into the wall. Once. Twice.
"Autumn! Stop, you are hurting yourself!"
"I have to hurt!" she shouted through her tears, spinning to face Mango. "Because if I don’t hurt, Mango, I won’t believe it’s real. And if I don’t believe it’s real, I will go insane!"
Mango rushed toward her, wrapping her arms around her from behind again, trying to restrain her trembling fra. "Please," she murmured into her ear. "Please don’t do this. Breathe. Just breathe. I am here."
Autumn thrashed in her hold, her heel kicking back and nearly striking Mango in the shin.
"LET GO OF !" she wailed.
But Mango held tighter, tears falling down her own cheeks now. "No. I am not letting go. Even if you break every bone in my body...I am not letting go of you."
Autumn twisted, almost elbowing her, before crumpling entirely. Her legs gave out, and she collapsed again to the floor, curled into herself like a child. Her screams turned into sobs, then into broken whispers.
"I can’t do this. I can’t...I can’t breathe. Mango, I can’t breathe."
Mango lowered with her, pulling the blanket over them both like a shield against the storm.
"You can," she whispered, rocking her. "You are strong my sweet girl. You are.Trust ."
" I don’t fucking trust any one, any more!" Autumn clutched at her own ribs like she was trying to hold her soul in place.
"I wish she had stayed dead," she choked out suddenly.
"Isn’t that awful? I actually wish my own sister, my own blood ... stayed gone. Because this hurts more than losing her the first ti."
Mango pressed her forehead against Autumn’s temple.
"It is not awful," she whispered. "It is human."
Silence.
Only the fire. Only the distant drip of water. Only the quiet, breaking sobs of a woman trying to survive her own heart.
Autumn closed her eyes, lips trembling.
" It...it feels like I don’t know how to be alive in a world where she is breathing again," she whispered.
Mango did not answer. She just stayed. Held her through the wreckage.
Because sotis words don’t feel legitimate.
And then...she elbowed Mango out of her way.
She moved.
Fast. Too fast.
The side table shattered against the wall, porcelain scattering like bones.
"AUTUMN!"
She didn’t stop.
Her hands found the bookshelf next...heaved...and it toppled with a crash, pages fluttering like dying birds.
"She was DEAD!I was living...yet nobody cared about that!!" Autumn scread, kicking the wreckage.
A book thunked against Mango’s shoulder as she flung it.Mango didn’t flinch. " There is no point hurting yourself... You must stop that Autumn! "
"IT FEELS GOOD!" Autumn grabbed her own hair, yanking hard enough to tear strands free. "I want to hurt! I want to feel sothing that makes sense!"
Her chest heaved. The room spun.
Then again...she crumpled to the floor, fingers clawing at her own arms, leaving red welts.Mango dropped beside her, grabbing her wrists. "Stop. Stop. Look at !"
But Autumn thrashed, nails raking down Mango’s forearm. "LET GO OF !"
A thin line of blood welled on Mango’s skin.
Silence.
Autumn froze.
"I am sorry," she whispered, voice breaking. "I am sorry, I am so sorry, I am losing my shit...I didn’t an to...
Mango didn’t let go. "I know."
Autumn scread again, this ti into Mango’s shoulder, teeth sinking into her fabric. "I want to kill him," she snarled. "I want to rip his heart out and make him eat it."
Mango held her tighter. "I know."
Her fists pounded against Mango’s back, weak now. "What did I do to deserve this?"
No answer.
The fire spat embers.Autumn’s breath hitched...once, twice...then stopped.
A whisper: "I want to die."
Mango flinched. "Don’t say that."
"Why not?" Autumn laughed, hollow. "It’s true." She slumped forward, forehead pressed to the floor. "It was always better that I died instead of Autumn...my father was right! "
Suddenly,Autumn’s fingers dug into Mango’s shoulders like claws.
"Do you feel that?" she gasped, pupils blown wide. " You can’t? "
Then
A spasm!
Violent. Uncontrollable.
Her entire body jerked, muscles locking as if electrocuted. Mango tried to hold her steady, but Autumn wrenched free with a snarl, stumbling backward...and slamd herself into the wall.
THUD!!!
Her skull cracked against the stone.
THUD!
Again.
THUD
Blood streaked the plaster.
"AUTUMN, STOP!" Mango lunged, magic flaring at her fingertips...a soft golden glow ant to restrain, to calm but Autumn shrieked and batted it away like smoke.
Sothing was happening.
Sothing was getting worse.
Autumn clutched her chest, nails tearing through fabric, through skin. "He is... He is... "
And then... Sheer agony.
The mate bond snapped taut in her chest... And she felt it... Clear as a day!
Kieran’s teeth.
Lyla’s skin.
His mark sealing itself into place.
"NO!!!!"Autumn’s voice shattered.
A howl ripped from her throat.
And it shook the walls. Rattled the windows. A sound so raw it seed to tear the sky open.
Mango recoiled, hands clapped over her ears. "GODS HAVE RCY! "
But rcy wasn’t coming.
Autumn thrashed, body contorting, screaming like her soul was being flayed alive. "GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!" She scraped at her own chest, drawing blood, as if she could peel the bond away with her fingers.
Mango tackled her, magic flaring brighter again. "I have got you, I have got you... "
" Nooo! Please nooo! " Autumn arched, spine bending unnaturally, and threw Mango off with inhuman strength. The magic splintered like glass.
Blood in her mouth.
Blood in her eyes.
She felt it...him giving away that one thing that was supposed to be hers and only hers alone...
A choked gasp.
Autumn went limp.
Eyes open.
Unblinking.
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