I wake up and take a deep breath, an imdiate mistake. It slls stuffy in my sarcophagus. Blood still drips down my throat so I rip out the tube and frown. A press of the button above and a panel open with a dreadful 'beep' 'boop'. Arg! I already told Loth Junior to stop but the little twerp has so much fun making all those technological thingamajigs so unnecessary noisy! A screen lights up, much nicer than what I rember.
I see earth from above. It looks blue and green enough. Gibberish text lines down the right side, talking about 'OS versions' and whatnot. What do I care about the version? Give the facts already.
A large sphere soon appears in its place. It looks like a massive disc with, appropriately, a pirate hat placed delicately upon it. It appears to be quite dusty. The Space Fury must have stayed in orbit a little too long.
"You! Artificial thingie! Report. What indicator woke up?"
//PROCESSING REQUEST.
"Why, in the na of the Watcher, can you not be made to talk normally? Aaaaargh."
I press more buttons — eliciting more infuriating boops — but there does not seem to be options in the nu to make the machine less obnoxious.
//Environntal status, normal.
//Geopolitical risk, low.
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//Invasion risk, low.
//No anomalies detected.
"OH THAT IS IT!"
I simply teleport out of the sarcophagus and dress with a thought, in armor because I can. The imnse hall I am resting in is still in the waking up process but it does not matter. I feel two distinct forms outside of the wards, made blurry by their opaque intensity. Those two clowns woke up? I am going to eat them.
I teleport out and rant imdiately as I stride towards the control panel in the far wall. Many wards and traps around here but they are all keyed to .
"What did I say last ti? What did I bloody say? THE NEXT CAD WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER WITHOUT CAUSE WILL GET MY BLADE UP HIS DISRESPECTFUL FLACCID ARS— Oh, it… it is you?"
Eyes of amber peer amusingly through a slit in the blast door. I can tell who it is because he stands in my domain, yet disbelief still forces to stop.
"Sinead?"
"Poppet! It has been far too long. Nice trick using the tree. Love what you have done with the sphere! And with magic increasing at such a pace, my friends and I have found a way to visit! We t a local kind enough to wake you up so we could assist with your… little problem."
Torran steps out of the shadow with a tender smile.
"Torran!" I yelp excitedly.
Then I realize that, while it is not unusual for an immortal to keep a lover in every sphere, having them et constitutes a terrible faux-pas.
"Well, this is a little awkward."
"Not to worry, my star, we have already agreed to fight for your hand in a struggle to the death."
"Could you please reconsider?"
"Hahaha he jests, he jests," Sinead replies with a slightly manic smile. "We just wanted to save you from centuries of hermit isolation. And I have just the thing! A little visit to the spheres to get so advice from auntie Carnaciel, then off to the Blood Court for so action! The non sexual kind!"
"Well, that does seem nice. What are we waiting for?"
"We were hoping you could get us through the traps," Torran helpfully added.
"So lazy."
"Loth Junior created a fire pig one. He had a Bingle install it"
"Nevermind I will just fly us out. HOW DARE YOU RISK MY LIFE LIKE THAT!"
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