Yu Xiao was speechless. She hoped that the others at the Sixth Hospital would only consider choices 1 and 2 as a last resort. Maybe it would work, maybe it wouldn’t, but it was better than giving up.
“I guess I’ll hit the hay,” she yawned and stretched, feeling every muscle ache. She had spent the last two days in the instance, working like a slave. It was exhausting, even the “Thousand Year Kill” move took its toll… She shuddered as she rembered those horse squeals.
Argh, why did this co back to mind again?
She pushed the mory away and crawled into bed. She needed so sleep, badly.
She fell asleep almost instantly and dread of sothing wonderfully delicious. She couldn’t recall the details, but it left her with a warm and fuzzy feeling. She wished she could stay in that dream forever.
But then, the alarm went off.
“Ding dong!”
Yu Xiao blinked her eyes open, groaning. The dream faded, leaving her with a vague sense of regret. She wondered if she could catch it again if she closed her eyes for just a few more minutes.
But then, she heard the soft music.
It was the wake-up call. The curtains slid open, letting in a blast of sunlight that hit her face like a slap.
Yu Xiao: “!!!”
She turned her head and saw Zhao Lan and Zhou Xiao Zhen sitting on their beds, drinking hot water and enjoying the music. They looked relaxed and refreshed, as if they had slept well.
“It’s 8 o’clock!” Yu Xiao cried out, panic rising in her chest. “Why didn’t you wake
up?”
Zhao Lan gave her an innocent look. “There’s no instance today, why wake you up? Wouldn’t you rather sleep a little longer?”
Yu Xiao felt a surge of panic and hid her face under the blanket. Oh, no. Was this how she was going to die? Socially, without any warning?
Zhou Xiao Zhen frowned. “What’s wrong with Smiley? When you had a lovely sleep, you should be happy.”
“Perhaps she slept poorly?” Zhao Lan suggested. “Did you have a bad dream, Smiley?”
“No way,” Zhou Xiao Zhen said. “Smiley had the sweetest dreams last night. I got up in the middle of the night to use the loo, and I heard her giggling. I nearly wet myself, thinking the ward ghost had snuck in.”
They were chatting away, when the morning news radio interrupted them.
“Let’s start this beautiful day~ And now, the morning news from the hospital.”
“Recently, a large number of patients have been wilfully damaging the toilets during treatnt, resulting in grave and negative consequences. Our hospital leadership urges everyone to respect the environnt, maintain public hygiene, and be civilised patients…”
Yu Xiao’s heart lurched as she heard this news.
Zhou Xiao Zhen was baffled. “Why are so many people wrecking the toilets? Is there a spook in there?”
“Maybe not for that reason,” Zhao Lan said, her eyes gleaming with mischief. “Rember when Smiley got that title from the Village? ‘Shit-Hole Destroyer’. Maybe they’re all jealous and want to be like Smiley.”
Yu Xiao felt a cold sweat on her palms, which she kept hidden under the blanket. What else was left for her in this world? Might as well destroy it while you can!
“There’s an opening for the village doctor position in Gu Family Village. Now hiring an attending doctor. Gender and age are no barriers, but work experience must be at least forty years…”
“Yesterday, there was a mishap at the Lolita Amusent Park, with so of the gaming facilities ruined. Repair work is in progress, and Lolita Amusent Park is closed to visitors for the ti being…”
Yu Xiao heard this and thought, no wonder Lolita was so furious when she smashed the bungee jump machine. It would take ages to fix. But what she couldn’t understand was, why bother? The amusent park was going to burn down in two days anyway. Wouldn’t that also destroy all the machines?
“…Patient nicknad ‘Cute Fairy’ from the Fourth Hospital displayed outstanding performance in yesterday’s treatnt session and received the honorary title of ‘Demolition Crew mber’. Let’s give her a round of applause.”
“Is that Xie ng ng?” Zhou Xiao Zhen wondered. “Sa as our titles.”
“Must be her,” Zhao Lan agreed. “Everyone had a hand in wrecking the gaming facilities.”
“Patient nicknad ‘Money Money Money’ from the Fourth Hospital displayed outstanding performance in yesterday’s treatnt session and received the honorary title of ‘Demolition Crew mber’. Let’s give her a round of applause.”
“…”
The broadcast from Fourth Hospital faded, followed by Fifth Hospital, and then… Yu Xiao clenched her fists.
“Yesterday, the patient nicknad ‘Deaf Descendant’
from Sixth Hospital stayed on top, let’s give her a big cheer…”
**
At that mont, Xie ng ng and Qian Xin from Fourth Hospital were baffled.
“We both have titles, it makes no sense for Yu Xiao to have none,” Qian Xin said, her brow furrowed. “What’s going on?”
Xie ng ng also had a head full of question marks. “Yeah, it doesn’t add up.”
The news went on.
“…the patient has displayed remarkable performance during the treatnt, earning the three illustrious titles of ‘Demolition Crew Leader’, ‘Amusent Park Bully’, and ‘Deadly Arse Assassin’. Let’s applaud her warmly!”
“…”
**
Zhou Xiao Zhen and Zhao Lan, who had been listening to the news with interest, suddenly went quiet.
After a pause, Zhou Xiao Zhen said, “I think I heard sothing odd just then. Misty, did you catch it too?”
“Yeah,” Zhao Lan agreed. “I heard it.”
“So…” Zhou Xiao Zhen glanced at Yu Xiao, who was buried under her blanket, still as a corpse. “Smiley, she…”
“Shh.” Zhao Lan put a finger to her mouth. “Don’t bother Smiley, let her sleep off her sha.
“Furthermore, the patient known as ‘Nickna Hassle’ dazzled in yesterday’s session, snatching the illustrious titles of ‘Demolition Crew mber’ and ‘Bully’s Accomplice’…”
“…In the anti, the patient nicknad ‘Braised Egg Girl 438’ sparkled in yesterday’s session, securing the esteed title of ‘Demolition Crew mber,’ let’s applaud her…”
As the morning news wrapped up, the ward lapsed into silence.
Zhao Lan and Zhou Xiao Zhen exchanged a glance, communicating silently.
— Why ain’t ya speakin’?
— Why ain’t you talkin’?
— You go first then.
— Hmph, ain’t gonna…
“Ahem.” Zhao Lan cleared her throat. “Co on, Smiley, it’s not a big deal. The actual content of the title doesn’t matter; what matters is having it. You have no idea how many people are jealous of you for suddenly acquiring three titles and earning twelve points.”
“Does the actual content of the title really not matter?” Zhou Xiao Zhen asked, looking perplexed. “Then why do so many people imitate Smiley blowing up loos? Hey Misty, do you think next ti the news will ask everyone not to bother NPCs’ back gardens?”
Zhao Lan was dumbstruck. She thought, Precious, oh Precious, how could you just rubb salt into your girlfriend’s wound like this?”
Zhou Xiao Zhen was equally stunned, but for a different reason. She had never seen such a title before. It was both ridiculous and impressive. She made a silent vow to herself. Next ti they entered the instance, she would not hold back. She would strive to earn a few more titles of her own.
After that, the two began to chat, and Yu Xiao slowly relaxed. It was just a title, what did it matter? Anyway, no one knew who she was.
“I really want to live another five hundred years~…” The ringtone shattered the mont.
Yu Xiao groaned and reached for her phone under the pillow. She answered it without looking at the caller ID. She regretted it imdiately.
As soon as she answered, she heard Lu Xun’s jovial voice on the other end, “Hahaha… Hey, did you catch the news? Brilliant, you got three more titles again. Oh, by the way, what’s the story with your last title? ‘Deadly Arse Assassin’? Whose arse did you assassinate…”
Yu Xiao rolled her eyes, feeling faint.
**
The Fourth Institute forum was abuzz with excitent once again.
Xie ng ng’s post was back at the top.
【OP, have you heard the latest? You’ve been duped. The big shot from the Fourth Hospital is none other than my pal Dragon Bro.】
【Judging by this post and your title, you’ve fallen for a massive hoax.】
【What Dragon Bro?! Did you lot even read the thread? OP said the three big shots are all gals, and the Dragon’s Descendant is a chick!】
【Sure, It’s a shocker that the top ranker from the Sixth Hospital is a chick, but I’m telling you, I’m the Dragon’s Descendant. I’m not a chick, and her nickna is certainly not those two words!】
【”Wow! My Dragon Sis is amazing!】
【”If the Dragon’s Descendant is a gal, then how do you explain the last news, where both the Dragon’s Descendant and Zhuge married the Village Chief at the sa ti?】
【Why are all flustered by ‘Zhuge Liang burning the Spider Web Cave’ preferences…】
“So, it turns out Yu Xiao is Dragon Bro… No, Dragon Sis!” Xie ng ng blurted out, her eyes wide. “She tricked , the cheeky sod, how infuriating!”
Qian Xin watched Xie ng ng flush and fidget, too weary to say anything. How could she find that infuriating when she was practically swooning?
“Top post is all about Yu Xiao,” Qian Xin announced as she opened a thread.
【I’m following Big Dragon Sis’s example to earn a title!】
【After seeing Dragon Sis get the ‘Shit-Hole Destroyer’ title in the last news, I had an idea. Normal titles might be out of reach, but ones with strong practicality might be possible. So, when we entered the instance, my mates and I smashed all the toilets inside, which resulted in us being hunted by NPCs for the whole instance.】
【So, you’re the ones who ruined the toilets in the news?】
【Well…I was part of it.】
【Even though it’s embarrassing, I did it too.】
【
1 】
【So, OP, did you get the title?】
【Obviously not, if I had a title, it would have been in the news.】
【OP looks so pathetic from this angle, so cute…】
【Even though I failed, I won’t give up on any chance to earn a title. This ti, another title with strong practicality showed up in Dragon Sis’s list, ‘Deadly Arse Assassin’! I’m applying for it tonight and planning to give it a go in the instance. Brothers, wish
luck!】
【666.】 (In Chinese internet culture, “666” is often used to express admiration or praise, similar to saying “good job” or “well done” in English. The number “6” is considered lucky in Chinese culture, and repeating it three tis adds emphasis,)
【Don’t forget to share your battle achievents when you return!】
【I hope the OP survives rather than getting so silly title.】
【Please stay alive.】
【…】
Yu Xiao had finally steeled herself. So what if two strangers had seen her embarrassing titles? What did it matter? Once she left the hospital, she would never cross paths with them again.
Phew~ Yu Xiao breathed a sigh of relief. Stay calm, stay calm. After this nightmare, nothing could shake her.
With a new resolve, she tossed aside the covers and got out of bed, eager to wash her face and have breakfast.
“I really want to live for another five hundred years…”
The phone rang again. Yu Xiao grabbed it and saw it was Lu Xun.
Answering the call, Yu Xiao shouted, “Do you dare to mock
again?! Watch out, or I’ll use the ‘Deadly Arse Assassin’ move on you?!”
“…” After a pause of silence, Luo Jin on the other end of the phone said, “I didn’t mock.”
Yu Xiao: “…”
She heard soone next to Luo Jin murmur softly over the phone, “You were laughing with
just a mont ago.”
Yu Xiao: “…”
“Ahem.” Luo Jin cleared his throat and adopted a serious tone. “I called you to ask you sothing. Can you tell
more about the world outside the amusent park?”
Yu Xiao felt her anger subside a little; there were still so decent people in this world.
She had nothing to hide and told him everything that had happened to her after she left the amusent park.
Luo Jin listened attentively and then asked, “Do you think that’s also part of the instance?”
“I don’t think so,” Yu Xiao said, “That place felt different from the amusent park to , and Lolita never left the amusent park.”
“Thank you for sharing all this with ,” Luo Jin said gratefully, “There’s one more thing I’m curious about, I wonder if you can tell .”
Yu Xiao: “Sure.”
Luo Jin: “Who was your target for ‘Deadly Arse Assassin’? Was it human or ghost? Was it Lolita? Did you make her cry like that?”
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