½ Prince Volume 2 Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Food is Invincible! – translated by Shonen19

Icy expression? Check!

Blood Tiara? Check!

Hairstyle? Check!

Clothes? Check!

All checked! Wahaha, everything’s perfect and in place! After a short three second deliberation, I’d decided to use the “icy bad boy” strategy, as per usual. After all, isn’t it widely known that girls dig bad boys?

I looked at Gui and thought, Not bad, not bad at all! Under my coercion, (Weird; when I threatened to beat him up, he refused to cooperate, but when I threatened not to beat him up, he agreed... Is he a masochist?) he too adopted the attitude of an aloof bad boy — and he seed to be even better at it than I was!

So handso...Whoops! I shook my head, flinging off the two hearts that had replaced my eyes, and resud my cold and impassive appearance.

“Let’s go, Gui.” I walked out into the arena at a stately pace, looking like the epito of style.

“Hello everyone, I am Xiao Li, your comntator for this match! Erging from the left entrance of the arena right now is Team Phoenix, consisting of four elf warriors, a holyman priest, and a holyman mage. They’re a very strong team specializing in offense; up to this point, no team has managed to stand against their attacks,” reported Xiao Li excitedly. “These six beautiful n have made all the ladies go wild — just listen to them cheer! It sure looks like this team has got quite a few supporters here in their ho city!

“And coming in from the right is...” Xiao Li’s voice trailed off as he flipped through his log book, his heart skipping a beat at the unusual na. Odd Squad? If I rember correctly, their team mbers are...

As Gui and I stepped out of the tunnel and into the arena, the crowd’s cheers gradually subsided into a dead silence as their gazes slowly ca to center entirely on the two of us. Gui gave the other team an indifferent glance, as though he didn’t see them as threat at all, thus intentionally provoking our opponents. I, on the other hand, tilted my head to one side and gave Team Phoenix a faintly sadistic smile, silently picking a fight with them.

“And here we have Odd Squad! Their team consists of an elf warrior, an elf thief, a beastman priest, an angel necromancer, a demon bard, and a human mage. With their unique team makeup and unpredictable and diverse combat strategies and tactics, they have been the victors in every match until now,” Xiao Li announced. However, as a comntator, he was clearly aware that what the spectators really wanted to know was...

“The only warrior in Odd Squad, Prince, has been dubbed by many as the ‘Blood Elf’ due to his cold-blooded and rciless fighting style. Of course, even more people have taken to calling him ‘The Ultra–Gorgeous Prince’! In addition, there is also another, equally rare, beautiful man on their team: Guiliastes, whose devilish and unearthly beauty has also earned its share of attention. In Odd Squad’s ho city, Star City, the two of them have been gained reputations as “extrely hot guys”... In any case, ladies, you’re in for so serious eye candy!”

“What is he, a comntator for a beauty pageant?” Lolidragon murmured to herself.

“Aiyah! It’d be great if this really were a beauty pageant; then we wouldn’t have to put so much effort into fighting. We’d probably erge as the champions right away,” Yu Lian-dàsăo said confidently.

Lolidragon and I looked suspiciously at Yu Lian-dàsăo. Has her extraordinary sense of beauty been cured?

Yu Lian looked lovingly at her husband, Ugly Wolf. “With Wolf here, we would definitely win.”

...Nope, not cured yet.

“Dàgē, they have four warriors. How are we going to fight them? What’s our strategy for this round?”

On the surface, my expression remained as aloof as ever, but in secret, I was hurriedly PMing Wolf-dàgē. The four warriors across from were so furious that their faces looked awfully twisted. I suspected that there was a high possibility that the instant the referee shouted “Begin!”, they would co charging directly at to skin alive and swallow whole... I have no interest in becoming pieces of human sashimi!

“Hmm... This’ll be a bit tricky. This team is mostly made up of warriors and although their team composition might not be effective against monsters, it works pretty well in this tournant. The best thod now is for you and Doll to stall them and then have Yu Lian cast a powerful spell to finish them off in one go.” Wolf-dàgē paused and considered the situation for a mont longer before continuing, “Lolidragon, your job is to assassinate their mage. Gui will support both the defenders and Lolidragon.”

“Stall four warriors?” I laughed weakly and put on my most innocent and pitiful look. “Dàgē, don’t you think that you’re overestimating my ability? Even Superman faces only one adversary per episode!”

Wolf-dàgē replied calmly, “Unfortunately, you’re not Superman, so you’ll have to handle four enemies. Rember! Even if it ans dying, you must stall them. Of course, if you can avoid losing a level, then all the better.”

Waaah!How heartless! I thought, ntally crying. This is warrior abuse... Crying aside, I resigned myself to my fate, unsheathed Black Dao, took out atbun, and began contemplating which technique to use in this situation. Ah! I suddenly recollected that atbun had a move that seed quite appropriate for this sort of situation.

“Haha, why are you taking out a bun here in the arena? Don’t tell that you have to eat buns to get your strength to fight? That’s right, eat up! You don’t look like you weigh much. When the wind blows, you’ll probably just get blown away!” the elf warrior standing at the very front jeered while looking contemptuously at atbun.

“That at bun has eyes. Don’t tell it’s a pet? A pet bun? Ahahahaha!” The elf warriors opposite all broke out into laughter.

“Let show you what a real pet is like!” said the holyman priest, and a ball of flas seed to erge above his head, unfurling into...

“A fire phoenix?” Wolf-dàgē exclaid in shock upon seeing it.

“It’s so beautiful!” Doll cried out in admiration.

“This is bad; the odds are heavily stacked against us in this situation,” Wolf-dàgē said worriedly. As should be expected of Wolf-dàgē, to be able to imdiately recover from his initial shock and begin analyzing the situation, I thought. “Yu Lian specializes in fire magic, so it’ll be futile for her to attack the fire phoenix. Doll’s skeletons will be occupied with stalling the warriors. This ans that the best solution left to us is a pet VS pet fight...”

As soon as he said those words, we turned and looked at atbun, who was bouncing excitedly on my palm, squealing “Whee! Whee!”.We then lifted our heads and looked at the fire phoenix soaring majestically in the sky.

“The odds are definitely against us,” I remarked.

“Battle, begin!” shouted the referee.

What? It’s already begun? I haven’t thought of a way for a at bun to defeat a fire phoenix yet! ...Never mind, I doubt I’ll be able to co up with a way in this lifeti anyway.

“atbun, Machine Gun at Attack,” I ordered. Holding atbun in my left hand, I fired continuously at the four warriors, sweeping from side to side. While the damage from the at bullets wasn’t very high, the hits were still painful, plus...

“My god, what is this? It’s so sticky and gross!”

As expected, the opposing team began to wail and complain. Heh heh, this is atbun’s still-raw-and-dripping-blood Machine Gun at Attack, with a grossness level that’s beyond the tolerance of a person who has not cooked before.

“Fire Phoenix, stop that at bun’s attack.” The priest of the opposing team hurriedly ordered the phoenix forward in order to aid the warriors on the frontline.

A surge of flas shot from Fire Phoenix’s open beak, countering atbun’s at bullets. Instantaneously a delicious sll wafted towards and I thought, The raw at from atbun has been roasted...?

I caught a piece, and with so skepticism, I ate it... and was duly astonished. It’s sooooo delicious! God, why did you let eat such delicious roasted at? What will I do if I never have the opportunity to taste it again?

“Unbelievable! If we add a fire phoenix to my atbun, then we would never have to worry about not having any at to eat in the future,” I said. Then I smiled coldly as I made up my mind. Lifting my Black Dao, I leveled it challengingly at the priest of the opposing team and said, “Hey, you, owner of the fire phoenix! Let’s make a bet, a bet on which team will win this match!”

Team Phoenix was stunned at first, then all of its mbers began guffawing.

With so difficulty, the priest managed to stop laughing and said in a tone of utmost contempt, “You think your team will win? How? Using a at bun to beat a fire phoenix?”

I didn’t answer and rely continued to smile tauntingly at him.

As I expected, there wasn’t any guy alive would could stay calm when taunted by a beautiful fellow like . Enraged, the priest snapped, “Fine. What are the stakes?”

“Your fire phoenix – if Team Phoenix loses, you’ll give us your fire phoenix. If Odd Squad loses, I’ll commit suicide over and over again until I hit level one.”

The priest smiled darkly. “No problem! Just you wait; you’ll be retraining from level one all over again.”

“Prince, aren’t you acting too rashly?” Lolidragon asked concernedly over the team channel.

I didn’t answer right away. Instead, I tossed so roasted at to each of my teammates. They looked dazedly at the roasted at in their hands, and gave uncomprehending looks. Finally, with so hesitation, Lolidragon took a bite of the roasted at...

“Ahhh, it’s just too delicious! My god, I’ve never eaten such heavenly roasted at before! The fresh and juicy at, together with the searing heat of the fire phoenix’s fla, creating a tender roast that’s been cooked to perfection, with every bite filled with such goodness... It’s definitely a delicacy that can’t be created using ordinary at and an ordinary oven. It’s so divine that I’m moved to tears! Prince, even if you die till you reach the negative hundredth level, you have to find a way to get that fire phoenix, you hear ?!” Lolidragon roared.

“ROAR! Even if I have to kick them to death, Fire Phoenix is ours!” Wolf-dàgē bellowed.

“We can save lots on food money!” Yu Lian-dàsăo’s smile was serene, but the shadow behind her smiling face was way more hair-raising than Wolf-dàgē’s bellowing.

“Undead creature bone dragon from the remotest depths of hell, abandon your slumber and answer the call of the necromancer, Doll. Co and help Doll snatch roasted at to eat!” After swallowing the roasted at, Doll actually summoned the terrifying undead creature – an undead bone dragon – which she had originally refused to ever summon again.

“If Prince wants sothing then I will help him get it, using whatever ans possible!” Gui said, emitting a frosty aura once again.

All six mbers of Odd Squad broke into bloodcurdling grins, all the while mumbling, “I want to eat roasted at” and “Fire Phoenix is ours”.

“W-why do t-they suddenly seem so fired up?” the priest stamred. His face was pale as a sheet as he looked at the six hungry wolves in front of him.

“N-no worries; even if they have a bone dragon, it’s no problem. Fire Phoenix is the nesis of all undead creatures,” one of the warriors said shakily, attempting to reassure his teammates.

“Gui- Berserk! Doll- the bone dragon, over here,” I shouted.

“Got it. Berserk lody.” Gui began to play, casting Berserk lody on Lolidragon and I, increasing our strength and agility to 150%. The buff would last for ten minutes.

“Bone dragon, go!” Not a trace of fear could be seen in Doll’s deanor as she calmly directed the undead creature.

I leapt onto the bone dragon and we charged at the elf warriors directly in front of us. At the sa ti, Fire Phoenix ca rushing towards us under its owner’s orders, and it looked as though we were about to crash. Hmph!, I sneered coldly. Don’t assu that my atbun can only spit at. Maybe it can’t win directly against a fire phoenix, but... Heh heh! “Ensnaring” it is a simple matter.

“atbun, use QQ Dough Wrap and bind Fire Phoenix,” I said, throwing the at bun in my hand at the fire phoenix. It imdiately began to stretch like soft dough and pinned itself to the fire phoenix’s wings. The fire phoenix gave a loud wail and plumted to the ground, struggling furiously.

Without any more obstacles in front of us, the bone dragon and I were about to crash into the four pale-faced elf warriors. Just then, the enemy mage managed to finish casting the spell for a barrier, catching the bone dragon and I off guard. We slamd into it, receiving quite a bit of damage.

I pressed on, ignoring the pain, and asked Doll to make the bone dragon fly higher, over the barrier. However, just when I planned to attack, the enemy mage began to fire a continuous stream of small-scale magical projectiles at us to impede my advance. The bone dragon and I flew around dodging the projectiles while keeping an eye on the four warriors, making sure that they did not dare to step outside the mage’s barrier.

After a few minutes of this impasse...

“Urgh!” The holyman mage couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the dagger sticking out of his chest. He quickly turned into a pillar of white light and flew off while Lolidragon gave an evil chuckle from behind, right where the mage had been standing. Then, before the warriors in front even sensed her presence, she used her Burrowing skill again to get back to where the rest of Odd Squad was.

The end was in sight.

“Hahahahaha!” Perched atop the bone dragon, I laughed manically. My wild and arrogant deanor sent several girls into a dead faint, unable to take the sight anymore.

“...teor Shower,” Yu Lian-dàsăo recited the last line of the spell with a smile and instantaneously nearly a dozen teors rained down from the skies, crashing onto the arena floor with earth-shaking booms. Finally, four columns of white light flew off, leaving only a warrior – the one who had laughed at atbun – collapsed on the ground.

As per usual, I maintained the air of a conqueror as I hopped off the bone dragon. For a mont I stared at my opponent, a rciless look in my eyes, and then I drove Black Dao through his weak and unresisting body, sending him to the rebirth point to relive his life as an elf.

“Odd Squad, victory!” The judge shouted a line that I had heard seven tis before.

After that, I picked my invincible atbun up from the floor.

We successfully received the fire phoenix, which had reverted to the form of an egg. (When the ownership of a pet changes hands, the pet will revert to the form of an egg, go through the ownership ceremony again, be demoted a level as though it has died once, and its loyalty will decrease to 50/100.) We then began discussing who the fire phoenix should be given to.

“First, take Doll and off the list. I already have atbun, and Doll can summon many undead minions, so neither of us needs this pet egg,” I said after so thought.

“Mm, I don’t need it either. I don’t believe that I need a pet to protect ,” Wolf-dàgē said, flexing his impressive muscles.

“Neither do I; Wolf will protect .” Yulian-dàsăo and Wolf-dàgē stared at each other ardently.

“I don’t want it. I can’t rear pets...”

I recollected Lolidragon’s bloody, tear–filled history with pets. That might be for the best. Otherwise, Lolidragon will be setting a new record by killing an immortal fire phoenix, and adding yet another chapter to that bloody history.

“So we’re left with...Gui?”

“? Yay, then I can roast at together with His Highness!” Anticipation was written all over Gui’s face.

“It’s roasting at with at-bunbun!”

The whole of Odd Squad laughed long and loud.

“Oh, co on, Prince, sotis you’ve got to reward Gui as well! Roasting at with him isn’t that big a deal, right?” Wolf-dàgē said, patting on the back heartily.

“Huh? I wasn’t the one who said that!” I replied.

However, I found myself wondering, Did I really not say that...?

“That voice was so adorable, so it was probably Doll who said it, right?” Lolidragon guessed.

“Eh?” Doll raised her small face. Her mouth was stuffed with food, making it impossible for her to speak.

Then who on earth was it?

“Here! Mama.”

Mama? I could feel atbun struggling in my hand.

No way! A at bun with eyes is already unbelievable enough, but a talking at bun?! I slowly lowered my head to look at atbun, but only saw its watery eyes looking at as usual.

“Mama.” atbun’s little mouth suddenly opened, saying that word, and I froze in shock. Mama? Is it referring to ?

The other mbers of Odd Squad realized that an event as incomprehensible as aliens invading Earth, Stephen Chow acting in a tearjerker, or A-i doing a strip dance had taken place. All of them were now staring with wide eyes at the talking at bun.

“Everyone, don’t stare at at-bunbun like that. at-bunbun is shy...” At this, two red spots slowly appeared on atbun’s ‘cheeks’.

...It’s a girl? I an, a female at bun?

“Why did you call ‘Mama’?” Don’t tell that my real gender has been discovered by a at bun? It’s possible, since my atbun had a wisdom level of ten when it was only level one!

“Mama is Mama...” atbun said as it lowered its ‘head’, an endearingly innocent look on its face. It was even rubbing against my palm, seeking affection.

It’s so adorable! But, waaah! I’m not even married yet and already I’m a mom! Plus, my child is a at bun... I wonder if it’s a boy or a girl?

“Lolidragon, do pets have genders in ‘Second Life’?” I asked calmly.

“Yes... And if you have two pets, they can even have babies! The chances are slim, though,” Lolidragon replied. She stared at atbun, the cogs in her brain turning quickly.

“But atbun...” Lolidragon observed atbun with suspicion in her eyes, while I flipped atbun over, studying it from every angle, trying to find a clue as to its gender.

“Wouldn’t it be faster if you just asked?” suggested Yu Lian-dàsăo.

“atbun...” After such a long examination, all we saw was a bun’s white and fluffy covering, so I had to ask calmly, “...Are you a male or a female?”

atbun’s eyes were wide and filled with confusion. It asked, “Mama, what’s ‘male’ and ‘female’? at-bunbun doesn’t understand.”

... Definitely a female, we thought.

“I think the fact that she’s talking is more important than her gender,” Wolf-dàgē said gravely.

“It’s because she’s reached level forty,” Lolidragon said as she suddenly rembered why. “When the pets in ‘Second Life’ reach a certain level, they gain artificial intelligence. At level forty, they begin to speak, and their artificial intelligence improves continuously according to their level.”

“I see. So it’s normal for pets to know how to talk?” I asked, seeing the light at last.

“Mmhmm.” Lolidragon smiled weakly, embarrassed. “I forgot all about it until now.”

My daughter, ah, no! My PET can talk! I happily pinched atbun here, there, and all over. As I pinched...

“It hurts, it hurts, at-bunbun is hurt, it hurts!” atbun squealed. Her watery-looking eyes beca REALLY watery. One teardrop, two teardrops... HUGE teardrops began to fall from atbun’s eyes, which finally beca two faucets that were completely out of control.

“Waaah, waaah, wuuuaaah... waaah...!”

“Ah! atbun’s crying, what should I do?” I asked. I felt at a complete loss as to what to do as I watched the at bun that was crying uncontrollably in my hand. How does one comfort a at bun?

“It’s like a faucet.” Lolidragon looked at the floor, which was beginning to show signs of a potential flood.

“That’s great; we don’t even need to bring water along in the future!” Yu Lian-dàsăo said, beaming.

After ten minutes...

“Prince, I should warn you in advance that I don’t know how to swim!” Lolidragon was looking at the water, which had already risen to her waistline, clearly wanting to cry.

Holding the two faucets in my hand, I smiled stupidly, completely in a daze...

“Let’s get out of here! This is such a high class restaurant. Now that we’ve flooded their booth, the compensation will definitely cost quite a bit.”

Wolf-dàgē didn’t look very concerned about the flood. It wasn’t surprising, since he was so tall; he would definitely have been the last person to drown, anyway.

“Our reputation level has gone down again.”

We had successfully used the ruckus caused by opening the booth door and letting the water flow out to escape, but we couldn’t prevent our reputation level from going down again. Yu Lian-dàsăo looked at the team’s reputation level and then turned to look at , wearing that terrifying shadowy smile.

“Prince, take good care of your daughter atbun. Don’t let her cause any more trouble, okay?”

“Okay.” Waaaaah! Dàsăo’s terrifying shadowy-yet-gentle smile is simply spine-chilling! I’m scared...

I looked angrily at my daughter atbun. Grabbing her in one swoop, I wanted to give her a good spanking. However, just as I was about to swing my hand down, atbun looked at in confusion with those incredibly large, innocent, and guileless eyes. “Mama?”

Waaah, now how am I supposed to spank her?

Lolidragon patted on the back and said, “Forget it. What’s the point of spanking a at bun? It would be better to just ask her to spit out more at for us to eat!”

“You’re right. Gui, quick – get Fire Phoenix to hatch,” I urged, drooling at the thought of roasted at.

“Okay.” Gui bit his finger, breaking the skin, and dripped so blood onto the fire phoenix egg. Wide-eyed, we waited for the fire phoenix to erge.

We didn’t have to wait for long before the familiar form of Fire Phoenix appeared before our eyes. The mbers of the Odd Squad hugged each other joyfully. Now there’ll be roasted at to eat!

Heaven’s Blazing Fla, that’s the ability! That’s the incredible ability that roasted the at in an instant!

I hurriedly held atbun out. Lolidragon imdiately took out a foldable table. Yu Lian-dàsăo rushed to set the table with plates and chopsticks. Wolf-dàgē nervously held a huge pot, worried that he would miss catching even a single piece of at, and Doll... was already sitting at the table, a napkin around her neck, ready to eat.

“Gui.” I signaled, my gaze determined. “Co on!”

“Yes.” Gui looked at the fire phoenix flying in the sky.

Gui and I shouted in unison:

“atbun, Machine Gun at Attack.”

“Fire Phoenix, Heaven’s Blazing Fla.”

There was only silence. The highly-anticipated aromatic roasted at was nowhere in sight.

“Mama, that’s Gui. Does Mama want to fight Gui?” atbun turned its head to look at in concern. I...

“Hmph, who do you think you are to order the immortal Fire Phoenix around?” An unfamiliar and proud voice ca from the sky.

However, this ti, none of us were surprised. We rely lifted our heads to look at the sky.

“Fire Phoenix is already level forty-one,” Lolidragon said stiffly. “Moreover, its loyalty is too low, so it’s not very obedient,” she added.

“Crap, then what about our roasted at?” I asked, looking stonily at the recalcitrant Fire Phoenix.

“Little children must be spanked in order for them to listen,” Yu Lian-dàsăo smiled.

“You’ll scald your hands if you spank Fire Phoenix...” I said. I want to smack it, but I’m scared of getting hurt!

In the end, since the rebellious Fire Phoenix refused to obey, Odd Squad could only return dejectedly to the city to purchase so at buns to eat. We were unable to beat up Fire Phoenix despite our hunger – so we could only vent our anger on Gui and order him to raise Fire Phoenix’s loyalty as quickly as possible.

However, from Gui’s grievous howls of pain after being scalded by the phoenix’s flas, we realized that it would be a long ti before we could have any roasted at to eat...

Waaah...I’m so hungry!

Wolf-dàgē bellowed half-heartedly, “Listen up, guys! Although we’re all really hungry, the next battle must still be fought. Just hang in there for another two rounds and we’ll be able to enter the finals.”

“Our opponent for the next battle is ‘Hell’s Murderers’,” Wolf-dàgē said. His tone suddenly beca serious. “According to the information Lolidragon obtained from interrogating Passerby A, this team’s combat strength is considerable. Moreover, their fighting style is quite violent and cruel. The battlefield never failed to beco a river of blood after every battle, and so of the spectators would definitely faint at the sight of all that blood. I’m afraid that they’ll prove to be difficult opponents.”

Are they really that scary? I furrowed my brows and asked, “What’s their team’s line-up?”

“They’re all humans. A priest, a mage, a warrior, a necromancer, a thief, and a bard.”

I was astonished. “Their classes are exactly the sa as ours?”

“And they have two pet dragons.” Wolf-dàgē heaved a sigh.

While we have a at bun and a disobedient fire phoenix, I added ntally. “This is going to be really tricky. Will they disembowel ?” I asked, worried.

“Very likely, yes,” Wolf- dàgē answered heavily.

I’m scared! I want to cry...

At that mont, Passerby A was talking to his friend B.

“Do you know what happened? I was kidnapped by Odd Squad just now.” Passerby A looked close to tears.

“Are you serious? My god, you were actually captured by the terrifying Odd Squad?” asked Friend B.

“Yeah, they wanted to give them information about Hell’s Murderers. After I finished, they seed very anxious!”

“Anxious? Hell’s Murderers may be scary, but they can’t compare to the scary-beyond-comprehension Odd Squad... The very sight of that beautiful fellow who smiles so evilly even as he hacks people to pieces can give people nightmares.”

“And that spirit-like beauty who keeps appearing behind people’s backs... After she kills soone, she never fails to laugh callously!”

“And that scary bone dragon, plus those skeletons burning with a black fire...”

“And also that fortress-like wolfman... plus that mage who seems so gentle and yet uses teor Shower to annihilate her opponents.”

“Odd Squad is just tooooo SCARY!” both Passerby A and Friend B exclaid in unison.

anwhile, with Hell’s Murderers...

“Has everyone heard about our opponents for this coming match?” their elected leader, Blood-soaked Demon King – a mage – asked with a grim expression.

“We’ve heard...”

“How can we, Hell’s Murderers, allow soone else to be more terrifying than we are?” Blood-soaked Demon King demanded furiously. “We swore that we’d beco the ones whose nas would make children cry upon hearing them, the ones whom adults would have nightmares about... The demon kings of ‘Second Life’! How can we let that Odd Squad beco OUR nightmares? This is just too pathetic... We have to defeat them in as terrifying and violent a manner as possible and beco THEIR nightmare!”

“BECO NIGHTMARES!” After the team gave a mighty shout in unison, one of the mbers suddenly shivered.

“But Odd Squad is really scary!” he added.

[½ Prince Volu 2 Chapter 2 End]

Footnotes

1 Stephen Chow: Famous Hong Kong actor, codian, and film director. He has acted in tons of codies over the decades, such as Kung Fu Hustle.

2 A-i: Famous Taiwanese pop singer and often called a diva of the Mandarin pop scene.