- HAZEL -
I still can’t sleep. This ti, it’s not insomnia or thoughts keeping awake, nor is it the noise from the tv. I sigh, well, it partially is. Just knowing he’d rather stay up all night than join crushes my soul.
I’m not asking for anything intimate, even if I want that, just a hug will do. I sigh and rolled to the side, clutching my hands under my pillow.
Although it’s so tempting to want more. It’s so tempting to be self centered just this once.
My body folded and I wrapped my arms around each other. It’s cold. His windows are open and I think he likes it this way, despite the curtains being pulled shut. I ran my eyes around his bedside. There’s no clock or anything here and I’m not with my phone so I don’t know what the ti is, but I won’t be surprised if it’s a few minutes to five am. I am so fatigued but unlike before, I’m self cautious. Am I that bad to share a bed with? Or is this just his way of avoiding ?
"Not tired yet?" I ask, murmuring. My voice quivered and is tiny so I don’t think he heard . "Killian?" I called, still keeping my tone low.
"I am." He responded.
"Not tired enough to sleep?" I adjusted myself to a pose that gives the chance to look at him.
Killian stretched with a groan. "Even if I want to, I can’t. This sofa is uncomfortable to be on."
Ah... I see. My throat tightened. There are so many rooms in this house. The fact he’s choosing to stay here, in his room yet willing to stay awake and not join hits a nerve.
"Do I make you uncomfortable?"
"No."
"Then why would you rather stay there than share a bed with ?" I tried to keep my eyes on his but he’s avoiding my gaze.
"I won’t." Killian responded. His short replies don’t make this any easier or more believable.
"Then?" I questioned, raising my tone a bit.
"I’m trying not to make you uncomfortable, Hazel, fuck!" He sighed. That sounded like he was tired of hearing speak. Doesn’t an I would succumb to that though.
"How?" I pushed, sitting up.
"You’re alone in the house of a man you know nothing about. Don’t you think any form of contact or closeness would ring a warning bell?"
Oh. I understand his point but I didn’t ask for this. He’s my teacher. I even fucked him before I knew anything about his identity so this doesn’t make any fucking sense. He should just tell it’s because of Kate and I would fucking get it! "I’m here because I want to be." I replied calmly.
"Technically, you’re here because I dragged you here."
"Not into your room." I felt my teeth biting my lip before I realised I was doing it. It’s beco a habit. I do that when I’m nervous and sotis confused. I also do that when I don’t know what to do.
"What do you want then? Tell Hazel." Killian asks, looking at . That made gasp. Even from far away, heat flows through my body.
"Stay with . Lay down by my side." Trust when I say that I am embarrassed asking or these things but how can I resist those eyes? His eyes aren’t passionate or cold or dull. They’re definitely not filled with lust or desire. They just are. Twinkling in the dark like a deep blue ocean. It’s srising.
"Should you be asking that?" Killian gets up. Looking at his form as he makes his way to makes squirm. "Don’t you think there are things you shouldn’t request? Boundaries you shouldn’t cross?" By the ti he finished his sentence, he was leaning over , on the bed. His hands supports his upper body and his head is facing mine.
"What if I want to cross those boundaries?" I ask.
Killian stares at for a few seconds like he was trying to look into my soul then pulls back. He chuckles. "Where’s your phone?" He asks.
My face flattened. That’s totally random. "It’s not with ."
He walks to the end of his room then back to with a jotter and a pen. "Here. Write down your number."
I took it from him hesitantly. "Why?"
"In case you do sothing stupid again."
I frowned. This is the second ti he’s used that word to describe my actions.
"So you’re like my guardian now?" I tease, writing down my number.
"Oh, kitten, you don’t want to know what I am to you." I handed him the jotter with the pen tucked in between so pages.
I actually want to but I don’t think I should ask.
"Will you give yours? Since you have mine."
Killian didn’t respond but his eyes did. He has a wicked smile on his face like soone amused.
"That’s for to decide, kitten."
An exhale escape my lips. I have told him so many tis not to call that. At this point, I don’t care anymore. He can call whatever he wants. Killian walked back to the end of the room and returned without the jotter. So what now? Will he join ? I don’t want to co off as persuasive especially when we both know our situation.
A situation I caused and one, despite trying to, I don’t regret. I’ll ask him anyway. I laid down back on the bed.
"Care to join ?"
"Sleep Hazel." That’s not an answer.
"I can’t."
"I don’t think my being on your bed will change that."
Oh my God. Killian is being so stern with . How hard is it to get a man in my bed? Correction, an engaged man.
I roll my eyes.
"It might. It’s just one of those nights I need a hug to fall asleep. I’ve passed through trauma once. That helps sotis."
I don’t know if it’s just or Killian’s eyes softened for a second. Like he felt what I said.
"Please?" I begged. I really, really, selfishly want to be the one he wakes up to see.
"Sure. But no hugs. And don’t crowd my space." He said. I tried to hide the smile forming on my face. What I said about going through trauma as a child is true though. It’s sothing I’ve never told anyone because I was ashad of it. Not even Kate knows. Not even my parents.
"Thanks."
Killian laid on the bed and pulled a duvet over his body. I thought he didn’t feel the breeze. "You didn’t give much of a choice."
That made giggle. That’s not true. I’m very sure he’s not a man that can be easily convinced to do sothing against his will. If he didn’t want to, he would’ve kept to his word.
My cheeks reddened and I drew the duvet over my face to cover my blush. The back of his body is in front of my face and our bodies aren’t in contact in anyway yet this gives butterflies. I turned to the side, feeling good about myself when a hand wrapped around . I tensed.
My heart starts racing and I can’t move. I have a huge crush on Killian but I didn’t expect him to do that. I don’t know what he thinks about and I’m sure I’ve always wanted to be on his bed again but why does this feel so wrong? Why does one touch make feel so guilty that I want the ground to swallow ? I really feel like a terrible person.
"Killian..." I started, not knowing if I should turn. I fear his hands will rest on my boobs if I even move an inch.
"Relax Hazel, for now, I’m not your teacher. I’m a man."
I never thought about him as more of a teacher than soone I slept with. Is that what he has been thinking all this ti?
A sad expression ford on my face. "A taken man." I swallowed. ant to be married even. And to Kate. My throat creased.
Thinking about this again makes hate myself for enjoying the comfort of his body but it helps relax. Brings the sleep that I begged to have a few minutes ago back to .
Killian’s hands tightened around my shoulders. He’s squeezing my chest at this point and I almost can’t breathe. "Get so rest, Hazel. I’ll let Kate know you’re here. With ."
That doesn’t make feel any less uneasy but it’s best she knows. She must be worried about , that is if she’s at the dorm and knocked on my room door. A scoff slid out of my lips, even with his arms around , he still thinks about her.
"Please do. Thank you." I whispered. My eyelids are barely open. "Goodnight."
"Sleep tight, kitten." Killian whisper
ed into my ears. I felt sothing sting my neck but before I was able to react to that, sleep took in. I blacked out.
Reviews
All reviews (0)