- KATE -
So his brother is with my best friend, who would’ve thought? I guess even she didn’t know. I doubt I would if I was in her shoes. The odds are quite slim but here we are, getting stronger in our friendship in more ways than one.
Never would I have imagined her being with soone like Liam. Not that it’s a bad choice, Liam’s got the charms and he’s a splendid man but I can’t help but wonder if Hazel knows the real him. The him he doesn’t talk about, the son of a deceased mafia boss who reigned a strong empire that still rules till date. I gulp. Just thinking about it sends shivers down my spine.
I wonder if she accepted him despite knowing him. If that’s so, I look up to face the man by my side, why doesn’t Killian show any form of affection even now?
“It’s a small word we live in.” I chuckle, looking at my knuckles, trying to start a conversation. “Who would’ve thought those two would et, talk less of build sothing together.” I add. Part of yearns for a response but I’m not getting any. “They look adorable together, don’t you think?” Killian’s face is directed at the road and he hasn’t said a word to since. Not yet at least.
I can’t read him.
“I wonder why you never ntioned sothing to about it sooner. I almost misjudged.”
The sigh that drags on between us is the first thing to break his silence. It sounds forced and tired, like that of soone hoping to while ti away from a painful or stressful mont. My lips form a line.
“As you know, chipmunk, Liam was supposed to introduce her to today.” Killian says, his voice is calm yet the intention behind his tone doesn’t seem so. Or am I just overthinking this? I can’t tell. I don’t know.
I draw my gaze from him back to my fingers. Even I understand a hint when I notice one. I can tell he’s not pleased.
“Am I that insufferable?” I blurt out. For a split second, I imagined his eyes rest on but when I turned my head to face him, he wasn’t even looking at . I swallow. “I’m engaged to you, Killian. One mont you act like you care about but from the ti I’ve been back till now, even right here, you’ve been scarce. Is there sothing else on your mind? Soone else? Tell . Confide in -“
“I think we both know the truth about why we’re engaged in the first place.” Killian says, his tone slightly harsh. I blink, trying to stop tears from falling down my cheeks. With a deep inhale, I sniff. Yeah, we do.
“And I am quite sure I have done and still do my duty in taking care of you like a man should, or have I not?” This doesn’t seem like a question. It doesn’t seem like a statent either. His words sound stiff and demanding.
“You have.” I mouth under my breath.
“Then what seems to be the issue here, Kate?”
My breath hitches as his eyes et mine through the rear mirror. I swallow. Those thick lashes convey dead looking eyes filled with sothing dark.
How do I tell him that I am running mad? Totally insane? That my head is playing tricks with and I don’t know what to do nor who to run to and he doesn’t give the feeling that he wants to confide in him? How do I let him know that even while with him recently, I feel lonely. How do I voice these concerns without coming off as ungrateful and asking for too much?
Why do I suddenly feel gaslit all of a sudden? Since when do I question how I feel?
“Are you with soone new?” I summon the courage to ask, my voice sinking into the air.
“Is that what you’re so bothered about, darling Kate?”
“That is not an answer, Killian.” My voice is more firm this ti.
The smile that forms at the ends of his face sickens . “Yes I am.”
It feels as though a blade plunged into my chest at his response. I don’t know what I wanted to hear but at least he’s being honest? I don’t know how to feel about that. “For how long?” That firm deanour is gone and I hear my voice breaking.
“So long I forgot to keep count.”
My air flow seems restricted. I find it difficult to breathe. Do I even rant or complain? I feel there are other ways to say this without sounding so arrogant. So non empathetic of my feelings. Does Killian not know I care about him as much as I do? Way more than I’m supposed to.
“Do I know this person?” Caring hurts. Even when the outco was inevitable, it sure does. I always knew we were allowed to have relationships outside ours but I never imagined him to be the first one to start one. I never imagined it at all.
The warm smile that ets when I ask this makes feel sick. “That’s not sothing you should worry about, chipmunk.” He says. A hand draws near to and rests on my head, patting gently yet roughly.
Maybe it’s not soone I know but it’s sothing I’d love to know. Not long ago, before the raid, so random person approached physically for the first ti after leaving a letter for . I never saw her again but a strange person t at the inn’s window, leaving a letter. The letter ca to like a joke. A preposterous joke.
It made feel like a fool when I read it. It stated; Plan’s changed. I won’t be involved in your personal matters anymore. Do with this info as you wish.
I don’t know what caused the sudden deal breaker but even if I wanted to, I couldn’t find out on my own. I am no expert or spy with so kind of power to influence certain deep searches for soone I don’t even know the face of so I left it there but that did its thing to ruin my mind. Especially when it felt so chaotic. So I chose to ask him. And he confird it. I want to ask him why he chose a student but I doubt he’d give any more information than he already has.
I fake a smile. “Okay.” I murmur, staring into the road. I let out a sigh. If Killian can’t be my emotional support, I guess I’ll dive back into telling soone else about it. Soone who may understand because she’s with soone like him.
Soone whom I’ve grown to trust. Soone less tense and crude with responses who’s everything a man stands against in the emotional support area. Her. My bff. Maybe it’s ti I start opening up to her about it. It’ll lift so burden off and give so peace of mind.
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