- KILLIAN -
Rain.
I stare at the wiper blades sliding back and forth over my windscreen, wiping the raindrops hitting the glass away to no avail. It keeps pouring. Heavily at that. The sound of the water hitting my car and every object in the environnt, the ground included, eases my nerves. The coolness of the air due to the rainfall gives so sense of warmth. It’s ironic but it’s soothing. My car engine is on but other than the headlights and the wiper blades, nothing else is on. Not even the heaters.
My eyes focus on rear view mirror, catching the glimpse of soone clothed in a wine coloured coat with an umbrella hanging over the face, blocking the upper half of her body, advancing towards . The lady makes her way to the passenger seat of my car and gets in.
“I’d like to say I’m flattered that you wanted to see but I’m not.” She cooes, turning to face . “What could be so urgent to disturb my beauty sleep this late at night?” I stay quiet, waiting for her to settle down comfortably on my seat. She folds her umbrella and closes the car door. The mont it jamd, I let out an exhale.
Who would’ve guessed that we’d be here in this sa position again? I let my wounded wrist braze the steering to remind myself of my pledge. Oh how the tables have turned.
I hold an envelope to her. I don’t need to avert my gaze to her direction to know that she lowered her face to look at my hand. “Have a look, it’s friendly.” My gaze leers on her skin, dead panned.
Asami takes the envelope from . She opens it and dips her hand in, drawing out whatever lays inside. They’re pictures. Shots taken earlier today by my very own n bestowed with the sole mission to protect my beloved, the one who dumped by the way.
“Stalking now? I knew you were obsessed with but not this obsessed.” I scoff at her nonchalant tone. She’s having way too much fun with this and not taking it seriously. Those photos contain proof of her eting with Hazel this morning right after I told her not to a week ago. I have to say, I love Asami being okay and free from bodily harm but she doesn’t seem to love that for herself.
“One mont you’re with her then the next she’s acting,” I take a pause. Brainless, idiotic, silly, half witted, there’s a long list of words I could use but none of these would suffice. “Unlike herself.” I say.
Asami drops the photographs back inside the envelope and throws them at , right on my thigh. “What do you assu? I’ve got nothing. My hands are clean.”
The ends of my lips curl to a side, I’m not grinning. “They better be. Don’t make find out you’re more involved than you claim.”
The scoff sliding into my ears makes avert my gaze to her. “Or what? You’d finally kill ?” My brows furrow for a second. “Burn alive or let my intestines waste out with building rods dug inside my body like you did with Owen?” My fists clench. I have no answer. “Or you’d rather do it peacefully and ship my body parts to God knows where, the ocean?” Asami tsks. “God knows I have no one looking out for for you to terrify with sothing like that.” She looks away from , staring out the window instead. “The only person who cares about is and I’m half way dead already so there’s not much to be afraid of.” Her coolness as she mutters those words is surreal. I’m plagued with guilt even though I shouldn’t be.
“I don’t hate you, Asami.”
“Yeah, right! And the sky is green.” She intercepts. I roll my eyes at the pettiness.
“Believe it or not, but I don’t. You work for my enemy, I hate that, but it’s your job. I hate what you did to years ago, yes. I hate how you feel you can do anything you want because you’re ‘nearly’ untouchable when you’re just human and all it takes is a bullet. I hate that you let yourself get injured because of stupid things. I hate that you don’t know your place and but into matters that do not concern you.” My jaw tightens. By matters, I an my relationship. “I also hate that deep down, I still care about you.” I add. I don’t know why I did but it’s not false. Through the rear view mirror, I notice her brows harden before softening. The hard expression on her face fading as she averts her gaze my way.
“You do?” Her voice is soft, low and like a soothing whisper.
“That’s not the point I’m trying to make.” I care about you is not the sa thing as I love you. You’re just a major part of my life, it’ll be hard to discard that. Plus you were my first love after my mother. I don’t think I need to voice these thoughts out. She doesn’t need to know.
“Right.” She sighs, looking out the windscreen. Silence trails between us for a while. My attention is on her but hers is not on . “We changed.” She finally says, breaking the quietness. “Never in a million years did either of us think we’d be this way or working against each other.”
“Well, ti does things to soone.” I comnt. I don’t want to talk about a painful past when I’m dealing with an even more difficult present right now because of her. I don’t know what she said to Hazel but it’s got Hazel acting in a way that bleeds my heart. It’s tis like these that I hate being mature. It’s tis like these that I hate my understanding for allowing people their privacy. I want to drive to the front of her dorm and wait out there for her even if it takes all night till the next day just so we can work things out but even that could be a strain for her. I can’t think of anything to do but my heart is hurting a whole lot and it reminds all the more how connected I am with her.
“It sure does.” Asami adds. Silence brews between us again. “If it makes you feel better, I won’t be hurting her.”
A short, humourless laugh leaves my mouth. “But you’ll be eting her again, I guess.”
“I have no choice.” She affirms. This makes exhale. “Not a lot of us do, unlike you.”
“We all have choices Asami. Whether good or bad, we do.”
“No, not everyone. But again, you’ll never understand. You were born free. Not all of us have that luxury.” I can hear the ache in her words. I don’t think it’s in my place to comfort her. “I’m not going to hurt your little one. She matters to you and that much I respect.”
I roll my eyes. If you did, then most of what I’m going through would be avoided.
“Physically.” Asami adds. “But I’m not backing away just yet.”
“Sotis, you make wonder how soone as provoking as you lives to see another day.”
“What can I say? The sun shines on both the good and the bad.”
I chuckle. “Yeah, right.” I use her phrase on her. This is the first ti I notice her smile. I know those eyes. I’ve seen that look on her face more than once from a very long ti ago. Sotis, despite the length of ti, so things never change. “Ask what you want to.” I demand. “I know you have sothing in mind.”
“You read like a book. Better than anyone else.”
“Or you make yourself easy to read, there’s that too.”
Asami squints at my comnt, her eyes shooting daggers. She clears her throat. “If what happened between us didn’t. . . .” She starts. “What are the chances of her not being in your life?”
I take a pause, looking ahead. “Hazel is the best thing that ever happened to .” I begin. “I’d be damned to imagine a life where we never t.” I return my gaze to Asami. “It’s unlikely that you wouldn’t have done sothing dumber than what you did, but if you didn’t,” I swallow. “I guess we’ll never know.” I won’t give her the benefit to imagine an us. There will never be an us.
Asami sinks back into her chair, her body slouched like an over fed, lazy cat. “Fair enough.” She mutters.
“Mhm. Not everyone chooses to be selfish in a relationship that lasted years.” Not everyone chooses to sacrifice their partner for their own selfish cause. I hope she’s satisfied with her decision.
“Is that all you called for? May I go?” She asks. This conversation took a turn I never expected it to.
“Pretty much.” I say.
Asami opens the car door and spreads her umbrella wide, outside my car. “I’ll see you whenever.” She mutters. I don’t want to return the remark. I don’t want to cross her path again.
“Sure.”
She steps out. “And Killian,” Asami calls. My attention never left her side the mont she opened the door. “If you don’t reveal who you are to Hazel, your enemies will have an advantage. I’m saying this because I care about you. To hell with that-“ Her eyes ets mine. She reads the expression on my face and swallows her words. Good. Very good. “And trust when I say you have no clue how many of them are joining forces just to bring you down. Tell her. Or it’ll be worse than just .”
This makes think hard. “I appreciate the advice.” I mutter to Asami. I don’t want her to think she did a favour. “You can shut the door now.” The slam of my door is a verbal proclaim of her annoyance. This makes a half grin form on my face. I watch her walk away and get into the back seat of the vehicle she ca from. The car reverses before taking a turn.
I let out a sigh. Asami is right this ti. Part of feels this whole thing could’ve been avoided if Hazel knows. But part of knows she’s not ready for it. Not even a little bit.
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