- HAZEL -
“Do you really an that?” Killian reaches out to touch . I shove his hand away, keeping my resolve.
“Yes, I do. You disgust , Killian. I’ve put it off long enough but I can’t anymore. Let’s break up and end this thing between us.”
In his eyes, I could tell he didn’t want to believe . I could tell he urged to understand , to think otherwise and for to tell him what’s going on with but I couldn’t. I can’t. I just can’t.
I never called the cops on him, this is a recording I downloaded to deceive him into thinking that I did. I hate being harsh to him. I hate telling him to go, but I’m hoping he stays with despite all this as he said he would. That’s my only resolve. I think I can turn this whole thing again Asami. I just need to be smart about it. I just need proof of her involvent in blackmail and attesting to hurt with her own voice. I need traces of her dna be it via fingerprints on my body too. I can’t keep living like this and if I want to go on with this, I can’t have Killian with . I need her to think I’m still her puppet. I need to act normal and I need to buy another phone along with a new sim.
“Hazel I can’t tell if you’re joking.” His voice breaks my reverie.
“I’m not, Killian. I’ve simply gotten bored.” Was my reply.
I rember watching him walk away. Killian wasn’t violent with . He didn’t raise his voice or take on an offensive role in that situation. He listened to my wishes regardless of how harsh I was. If the situation was reversed, I’d crumble hard, my world would fall to pieces yet I’m here hurting him while keeping a straight face.
The mont he left, I fell to the floor and scread my heart out. I cried hard and so loudly that people rushed in later. Letting him go hurt more than what I had been through with Asami throughout those weeks. I felt so empty and back then, I wondered which was easier, be open and honest with him or taking the route I took. No matter how hard I thought about it, the latter was worse but I don’t think I can undo what I’d already done. At least, not till I have accomplished the reason I did it in the first place. I just hope he’d hold onto and accept back into his life after what I plan to do is done. I hope it doesn’t drag past this week. If there’s a way I can get my hand on Asami’s phone and hack into any device she could possibly have to delete the leverage she has on , I would take it, but I’m so blank on to how to go about it. Even if the effect of a nude leak won’t be permanent, it surely will last for quite a while and living through it would be unbearable. I’ve seen other ladies do it and I don’t want to be in their shoes.
My eyes are sore. The headache throbbing like it’s about to burst through my skull is constant and I feel feverish. I don’t have any appetite despite being hungry as heck and it’s unlike not to eat. I just feel so drained.
The flashback is dropping on like a bomb and I’m drowning inside the ruckus. Funny how one perfect morning can turn haywire one mont. But it’s my future at stake. Should I risk it? I don’t know. I’m torn.
“Hazel, HAZEL!!”
I gasp at the voice bringing back to life. I’m in my lecture hall. My course mates and I wanted to do a group study and I completed zoned out of it. My mind is disheveled. It’s chaotic in there.
“You okay? You’ve been staring at that page in like forever.”
Huh? I draw my eyes back to my note. The black inked writing finally makes sense to and the letters are finally visible. It’s my hand writing. Oh.
I avert my gaze to my phone. It’s two thirty pm. How long have I been in school? I lost track. I haven’t made any academic progress since I t Asami.
“Sorry, just been overwheld with thoughts.” I sigh.
“Want to talk about it?” Natasha chis.
My lips form a line. Not really. There’s not much to say even if I choose to hide certain specifics of the story. It’s also not worth it.
“Nah, I’m alright.” I assure, folding my note and pulling my laptop out of my bag. I can’t believe I just broke up with the first best thing to happen to nearly in my whole life because soone suggested I should. How sure am I that she won’t leak the images after all?
Then I’d have lost everything. Every single thing. My parents for one would send out of the country to school and I won’t leave the house till they get my papers ready. I’d be a disgrace to my family. My siblings on the other hand can be lenient with support, they’re more open minded considering we grew up together. I let out a long heavy sigh. My throat feels dry. Just a few hours in and I already feel malnourished.
“Are you sure?”
“She doesn’t have to be sure, Nat, if the girl doesn’t want to talk don’t force it. Exams doesn’t care about our feelings or state of mind.” Vanessa, a friend who I also acquired because of Asami’s party adds. It’s funny how most people I t there are my course mates yet Asami made us bond. I doubt I ever would be acquaintances with them, talk less of friends, if that party didn’t hold. Now I don’t know if I can trust them. They could all just be normal people like who are just students or could all be Asami’s spies but whichever it is, I’m not taking the chances.
I chuckle dryly under my breath. “Yeah, let’s get this shit done, guys.”
Nat places her hand on my arm then squeeze lightly before holding her note high. Despite the awkward seating arrangent, we’re sat in an oval, facing each other so not all of us are sat upright but as long as we’re comfortable with our seating positions, it’s fine.
I clear my throat. I know it won’t take a second before I zone out and get lost in my thoughts again but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt.
Echoing voices brings my attention to the front of the hall. I stare at the group of n in suits walking through entrance teachers normally walk in through. They seem to be discussing important business. Amongst them is Killian and Kaiden. A wry smile forms on my lips. I forgot about Kaiden for a long second despite having his contact details.
He and Killian are undoubtedly outstanding amidst the group of n there. My eyes ets Killian’s hair. He’s stunning. The kind of stunning that makes you kneel yet I just pushed him away.
He turns.
I gasp, adjusting myself sluggishly on my seat without changing my posture much and fix my eyes on my laptop screen. I don’t want it to be obvious that I was staring at him if he indeed looked at .
I slowly trail my gaze back towards the front of the hall. Killian is staring at . He didn’t even bother to take his eyes off or make it hidden. My eyes begin to tear up. I can’t deal with this.
“Guys, sorry, I have to take a rain check.” I say to them. “Please record this group study and text it to . Eating junk is finally reflecting.” I hold my stomach. They laugh. The typical;
Yes.
Sure!
Scram
Girl too much info.
Get outta here.
Comnts slid in my ears. I shut my laptop, put it along with my note in my bag and left. I still feel his eyes all over but I don’t turn back. I dare not. It’s really hard for .
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